Eternal Possession
by AequitasInfinitas
Summary: The line between right and wrong has been blurred by a tale of passion, obsession and of the forbidden that lies eternally in between. (BEING REWRITTEN)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

**"He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." **  
— Emily Bronte, _Wuthering Heights_

**"There are no laws, no boundaries on feelings. We can love each other as much and as deeply as we want. No one, Maya, no one can ever take that away from us."**

― Tabitha Suzuma, _Forbidden_

* * *

The golden rays of the early midday sun bathed the Realm Eternal in a warm and comforting embrace. Deep within the lush Royal Gardens the young Princess was running, her bright white gown trailing behind her like swirling morning mist as she made her way deeper into the maze of endless trees and flowers. Soon she rounded a corner and spotted what she judged to be a fine hiding spot, behind one of the marble fountains adorning the heart of the Garden Maize. She crouched down swiftly and held as still as she could, barely able to contain her laughter as she heard her brother's fast approaching steps.

Loki finally reached the heart of the Maze and took slow, deliberate steps towards the series of marble fountains, smirking when he spotted a thin trail of white silk that was peeking out from behind the last ivory fountain to the left. For appearances sake and quite honestly simply to indulge his little sister, he pretended to be looking around and making a show of over-the-top exasperation when he "couldn't" locate her hiding place.

Sigyn was grinning, watching her elder brother trying to decipher which direction she could have possibly taken. She decided to put him out of his misery and once again claim victory of their game. Slowly and as quietly as she could hope to be, in her long gown, she made her way towards him.

Loki heard the faint rustling of fabric against grass and deduced she was on the move, probably to try and sneak up on him. He decided he might as well make it a bit easier for her and turned, facing in the opposite direction and pretending to be completely oblivious to her "stealthy" approach.

This was perfect. Luck was really on her side today. With him facing the other way she would easily sneak up and surprise him before he knew what hit him. She made the last final steps, her heart beating rapidly and threw her arms around him.

"Gotcha. I win."

Loki turned in her embrace, facing her and smiled devilishly. "So you did little sister. And now it's my turn to catch you." He made to grab her and she spun out of his reach giggling.

The pair proceeded to chase each other around the fountains until Loki finally won the struggle and they fell laughing onto the soft grass floor. They lay there for some time wrapped in each others arms and catching their breaths, when she turned up to face him. One of his arms was stretched behind his head while the other was holding her to him. He had a peaceful expression as his emerald eyes stared into the distance, enjoying this rare moment of peace and happiness. She truly loved to see him like this, partly because it was rare for him to seem so open and so relaxed and partly because she secretly treasured the fact that he was only this way when he was in her presence.

The Realm Eternal knew him as the Dark Prince, second and feared where his Golden brother was first and loved. Midgard and lore knew him as The Trickster, The God of Mischief, Lies and Deceit. But only she knew him as Loki, her Loki, her beloved brother and her closest friend. Although she was sad that the world would never know who he truly was, she couldn't help but feel special and lucky, because truly she could not imagine a life without him and their unique bond. And although she loved Thor dearly, her love for Loki was different. It burned bright and sometimes it honestly scared her in its intensity.

Loki could feel Sigyn's eyes on him and he smiled contended. As a Prince, even second in the line of succession, he had numerous responsibilities, especially since he not only fulfilled his own but also a fair share of his brother's, who was most of the times otherwise occupied when it came to the majority of his royal duties. Thus Loki's recreational time was somewhat limited and his greatest regret was not being able to enjoy his sister's company as much as when they were children.

But all things must come to an end and unfortunately their afternoon stroll was reaching its conclusion. He removed his hand from her waist, ready to stand when she grabbed onto his arm with more strength than he thought her capable of and stopped him from leaving.

"Must you go already? We haven't been out long enough."

" My love you know how father despises tardiness. The Council has serious matters to attend to. They'll hardly be pleased to wait for their Prince to arrive so they can commence."

"But Thor hardly ever steps foot in any of the meetings and father never admonishes him. I doubt he will be upset if you're a little late... Or even if you skip it entirely." She offered smiling, trying to tempt him to stay. But as she saw a dark shadow pass over his features, her smile dimmed slightly. He didn't have to say anything. The words hung there, between them, unspoken... _Yes but I am not Thor. _

Then the moment passed, just as quickly as it came, with no comment from either of them regarding the Allfather's preferential treatment of his eldest son. They were both happy to simply never talk about it out loud, whatever their thoughts, she out of sensibility towards Loki and Loki himself she suspected, pretending that he didn't notice and trying to convince himself that Odin loved his sons equally.

Loki pulled himself out of the poisonous mist of his dark thoughts and turned to his sister. " I suppose I could spare some time for one more game-" Before he had a chance to finish Sigyn threw her arms around him, hugging him to her and smiling in triumph.

" I mean it Sig. Just ONE more game."

Sigyn grinned, knowing her brother would inevitably give in to her like he always did and their 'just ONE game' would stretch out the length of the rest of the afternoon. She quickly pecked his cheek and got up, dusting the greenish and brown tufts of soft grass from her white gown.

"Oh and try not to let me win this time."

Loki couldn't contain the quick chuckle that escaped his pale lips and rising to his feet he got ready to start counting to 100 while his sister made her way out of the heart of the Maze. For the life of him he couldn't figure out how he always ended up giving into her and constantly letting her have her way. And it seemed to him in that moment that whenever Sigyn was concerned he would always give in.

* * *

Life at the Realm Eternal was, for a lack of a better word, predictable. It could be glamorous and extravagant and highly amusing, especially life in the Golden Palace, but ultimately very little changed.

Sigyn was heading towards the Grand Hall, attended by her ladies-in-waiting, for yet another Royal Ball. Draped in her trademark white and silver and with her long brown curls flowing she was very much the epitome of purity and quiet grace. As she stepped through the golden doors, after the Royal Herald announced her presence, she was greeted by the usual stares and whispers. It was undeniable that in the last few years the young Princess had grown into a fine young woman, intelligent and kind but most importantly ,according to the somewhat shallow expectations of the time, to a great beauty.

It was thus understandable, given her marriageable age and her eligibility that she was frequently approached by would-be suitors. However to the courts' and definitely to her parents discontent, the Princess showed no interest in any of the proposals, preferring instead to spend all of her free time with her elder brother, Prince Loki. As for the Prince himself, the situation was similar. Although desired by many, he had none of his sister's polite disinterest and instead promptly sent them away with a few curt dismissals.

If they were lucky. For the Realm also knew that the younger Prince had a darker, more sinister side to him and at times this very side of him peaked out from the shade of cruelty his pranks and tricks could take. Usually it was all "just a bit of fun" and mostly harmless but there had been times when fun had turned to pain and innocent amusement to cruelty. And so as the years had passed the young Prince came to inspire fear and distrust much more than awe and admiration.

As for the eldest Odinson, the King and Queen had grudgingly resigned themselves to the fact that their Golden son would most probably not settle down for at least a good few centuries. There was nothing Prince Thor enjoyed more than a good time, whether with his friends or on rarer occasions with his younger, more serious, brother.

Sigyn scanned the Hall for any signs of her brother. She spotted Thor sitting and most likely already sharing mead, with the Warriors Three. But he was not the brother she was looking for. She carefully navigated the rows of dinning tables which were, as always, overflowing with food, dismissing her ladies for the time to go and enjoy themselves. She had almost reached the Royal Table when someone addressed her. She turned slowly to be greeted by the site of Theoric, a member of the Golden Hawks - the King's elite guard and one of her more fervent admirers.

"Good evening Princess Sigyn ."

" Theoric." She offered him a curt nod of acknowledgment.

" A lovely evening in Asgard is it not? "

Sigyn could feel herself getting slightly irritated by the minute. It wasn't that Thoeric was unpleasant or rude but rather very persistent. She could handle formal pleasantries as well as anyone, she was after all both a Princess and a trained courtier. But she had made it abundantly clear, on numerous occasions in the past that she had no interest whatsoever in his advances. Something which unfortunately only seemed to fuel him on. Almost everywhere she went, there he was. Inevitably he would appear and try and engage her in mindless chatter or she supposed in what he considered charming conversation.

She was pondering the best way to politely excuse herself when she saw Him entering from across the room. He was taller than most Asgardians, save perhaps for Thor, and this made it easier to spot him in the crowded Hall. But then again, as far as she was concerned, and perhaps she was slightly biased in this matter, it would be easy to spot him in any crowd. With his proud countenance, his raven locks and his emerald eyes Prince Loki commanded attention everywhere he went.

He met her gaze from across the room and favored her with his own trademark smile, a cross somewhere in between a sincere grin and a playful smirk that she so adored. She smiled back, all her attention on her brother and completely forgetting the figure standing in front of her until she heard her name uttered.

"Your Majesty, I would be most honored if you gave me this first dance."

Loki had just started walking towards his sister when he realized that she was not alone. So complete was his focus on her before that he had failed to see Theoric. Loki was...irritated. The fool Theoric had been circling his little sister for far too long.

Sigyn only half listened to what Theoric was saying, busy observing her elder brother making his way towards them. She always prided herself in being able to discern his moods, at least to some extend, from his stance. And if the way he held himself now as he regarded her with Theoric was any indication, Loki was annoyed.

Loki finally reached his sister, casually placing his arm at her waist and gracing her with a playful smirk.

" Having fun little sister?" He almost whispered in her ear, moving in her personal space and cutting off her view of Theoric. Sigyn smiled, well aware of the fact that her brother had effectively turned his back on Theoric, completely disregarding his existence.

A gruff throat clearing broke the spell between the siblings and Loki turned slowly, to regard the insignificant interruption of his time with his sister.

Sigyn tensed, looking from Loki to Theoric. Her brother wore a bored, almost condescending expression as he regarded a somewhat flushed Theoric.

"Is there something you require Theoric?"

" If I may be so bold Your Majesty, I was inquiring whether the Princess Sigyn would honor me with a dance?"

Theoric turned to gaze at her adoringly, completely unaware of Loki's sinister expression and the danger it concealed.

" What say you sister ? Are you in the mood for a dance?" It wasn't really a question. Sigyn knew that. She also knew that she had better get Loki away from Theoric before any unfortunate events befell the latter. It would not be the first time one of Sigyn's persistent suitors suffered a little 'accident', putting him off his pursuit once and for all.

She graced Theoric with a diplomatic smile "You must forgive me Theoric. I am not much for dancing tonight." Before Theoric could bow and take his leave Sigyn was already half dragging Loki away, towards one of the many balconies.

Once they were outside in the fresh cool air, Loki pulled her towards him.

" Why did you not tell me that fool was still plaguing you?" Sigyn took a moment to choose her words carefully. Her brother was already irritated, there was really no reason to push him over the edge to anger.

"I wouldn't call it plaguing. He's just more enthusiastic at his pursuit than any previous suitors." She tried a humorous approach but could see from Loki's stern expression that she had failed. He was not amused.

" Honestly Loki. He's harmless. You know I can hold my own." She nudged him playfully, trying to ease the tension between them. Yes, Theoric did seem to follow her everywhere, but she doubted he would try anything other than that. Sometimes Loki was being unnecessarily overprotective. It was adorable and even endearing but somewhat frustrating.

Loki's expression softened and he found himself returning his sister's smile. Perhaps his concerns were unfounded. After all Sigyn was a Princess, Odin's precious only daughter and sister to Prince Loki and Prince Thor. Theoric would be mad to try anything where she was concerned. Loki had to calm down. His sister was the most eligible woman in Asgard. It made perfect sense that she would have admirers.

But he couldn't help himself. He despised it. Despised the way men would look to her with ill-concealed lust. He hated the way they coveted something that did not belong to them. Something that would never belong to them. For no one was worthy enough of his sister. _His Sigyn._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**"You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel."**

— Tabitha Suzuma, _Forbidden_**  
**

**"So then, I shall become a nun. For I shall never love a husband as I love you Cesare. Is that not sad?****"**

**"Most things in life prove to be sad sis."**

— Lucretia and Cesare, _The Borgias _

* * *

Loki was returning from a long day of training and non stop Council meetings. For a realm as perfect and as envied as Asgard, there were indeed more problems to deal with than anyone would have expected. Of course the situation was not made any better by the very conspicuous absence of the Crown Prince.

It seemed to Loki that lately he was running around, working himself to the bone and dealing with a plethora of crises, only to find solutions to problems that were not really his. He was not the current ruler of Asgard and as much as he hated to admit it, nor could he ever hope to be. There was absolutely no way that the Allfather would pass over his eldest son for his youngest.

Loki repeatedly told himself that that was protocol. The eldest son had the right to the throne. But a part of him, a small and bitter voice at the most distant corners of his mind wondered. If Loki had been the firstborn and Thor second, would it have made a difference? Or would Thor always be chosen, always be first in everyone's eyes, no matter the circumstances?

Busy pondering his dark thoughts he almost failed to see the figure lounging on his spacious bed. Sigyn was in her nightgown, partly under the dark green silk sheets and patiently waiting for him to notice her. When she saw the tense expression of his face she extended an arm towards him, beckoning him to join her on the bed.

Loki accepted her invitation, letting her pull him towards her until he too lay on the bed, facing her.

"What has my beloved brother in such a state? Did Thor not turn up for Council again?"She teased.

Loki moved closer, enveloping her in his arms.

" He did not."

Sigyn held her brother close, one hand at his side and the other drawing lazy circles on his chest. She hated to see him so stressed. Sigyn did not agree with what Loki was doing. He should not be covering for Thor. Taking on his responsibilities meant Thor didn't have to fulfill them, meant that he learned nothing about the way of ruling. She shuddered to think what might become of Asgard when her oldest brother ascended the throne. Visions of endless wars and suffering briefly filled her mind but she pushed these dark thoughts away. Loki was here, in her arms and he was the one that needed to be pulled from his dark thoughts and his exhaustion.

" I know you've had dinner with the Council but I could fetch something. Maybe some fruit ? Or some wine? "

" I think some wine for the both of us. It's been a long day."

Sigyn regrettably removed herself from her brother's arms, quietly making her way to the sitting parlor of his quarters. She poured some honeyed wine for the both of them into two intricate golden goblets and swiftly returned back to the bedroom.

She found her brother comfortably seated in one of the black leather arm chairs by the fire, awaiting her return. She went to him, handing him his wine and turning to take a seat at the chair across from him. But Loki stopped her, holding onto her arm and guiding her onto his lap instead. They sat there for some time, sipping their wine in companionable silence. Soon the wine was gone and their wineglasses were forgotten on a nearby table.

" Whatever were you doing here so late anyways? I would have thought you would be in bed by now."

" I was on my way, but I saw mother heading towards my rooms so I had to make a run for it."

Loki regarded her puzzled, eyebrows raised in confusion.

Sigyn laughed." Mother has been trying to corner me for days. She wants to talk of potential suitors and perhaps a ball to celebrate my nameday. She thinks we should combine the two of them so that I might finally choose a husband. " Sigyn continued, entirely oblivious to her brother's darkening mood.

"I would tell her it wouldn't do any good if she piled all the suitors of the Nine Realms in one room but I don't want to vex her any further. Thor and his many conquests take care of that just fine."

"Why not?"

" I'm sorry what?"

" Why wouldn't it do any good?"

Sigyn took a deep breath and turned to face him, locking her gaze to his.

"Because I'm never going to marry."

The atmosphere of the room shifted rapidly. Sigyn looked into the green depths of Loki's fathomless eyes and saw surprise, curiosity and something she couldn't quite place. Something that scared her in its intensity.

"Why?" That single word and all the power behind it shook her to her core. She answered. With the only honest reason she knew. The only reason that existed for her.

"Because I will never love any husband the way I love you."

* * *

As Princess Sigyn's nameday approached the Golden Palace was busy with preparations. The guest lists had been already composed and the invitations had been sent. It would be a magnificent event with all of Asgard's nobility in attendance and even a select special guests from Vanaheimr and Alfheim.

The Queen was ecstatic. Her youngest child, her only daughter would finally come off age. The celebrations would be lavish with more than two thousand guests in attendance. Nothing could be left to chance, everything down to the choice of table linen was carefully selected. However, if Queen Friga, was being honest with herself,the magnificent party was only a secondary priority. The number one priority would be for Sigyn to finally select a husband. The Queen had long ago resigned herself to her sons' stubbornness and unwillingness on the matter. For the time being they were adamantly disinterested. But her daughter was a different matter. For her she had hope still. After all Queen Friga was not much older when she herself had been betrothed to King Odin.

She knew of Sigyn's attachment to her brother. It was only natural of course, siblings close to age often form strong attachments to each other... _And yet Sigyn's attachment seemed to only extend to Loki._ Which was also perfectly natural. Of course. Loki always made time for his little sister, where as Thor was often busy getting himself and his friends into wild adventures and troubles. Loki was quiet, reserved and very mature for his age. Traits he shared with his sister. Their love for books outweighed their appetite for childish games. But not by much. The Queen could recall many a time Loki and Sigyn had been caught doling out mischief. She smiled, recalling how Loki would always take the blame for Sigyn just as readily as Sigyn would take the blame for Loki. Together they were unstoppable, with their matching alibis it was hard to assign any blame for whatever mischief they had caused.

The Queen was pulled from her reminiscing when Lady Ain arrived with the updated sitting arrangements. Her trip to memory lane would have to wait. She had a party to plan.

* * *

Sigyn was feeling restless. She had almost succeeded in convincing herself that the reason for her restlessness was stress for her upcoming party. She would be in the spotlight after all, two thousand people watching and judging her every move. It was a perfectly valid reason to feel restless over. And yet deep down she knew that that was not the reason.

Almost three weeks had passed since that night in Loki's bedroom. She wondered if she had made a mistake. Her words to him could be interpreted in many ways. Perhaps she shouldn't have spoken at all. But at that moment, when his eyes bore into hers, searching for answers she had had to give them to him. Loki's unofficial title as the God of Lies was not without reason. Even if she had wanted to lie to him she couldn't have. But that wasn't the reason of her honesty. At that moment she had wanted to tell him the truth. A truth she had slowly come to realize in the last few years.

She wasn't naive of course. She knew that marriage, especially where royalty was concerned was more a political tool than a happy fairy tale. But every time she saw her parents together, every time she saw the love and devotion they held for each other she couldn't help but picture that that was what marriage should be all about. A connection between two people. Unbreakable and constant. Something akin to her connection with Loki.

Yes. That's why she had spoken those words. She had simply meant that it would be hard to find a connection like that. It didn't mean that- it couldn't mean that she had only wanted a connection like that with...him.

* * *

The Dark Prince was busy. He was busy tending to new negotiations between Asgard and Alfheim. It was time the two realms drew up a more modern term of agreements. For the past three weeks he had immersed himself in the affairs of the Realm. Business was business and if his brother wouldn't do it then someone else had to. Long hours in the Council Chamber, lunches with visiting diplomats and ambassadors and even longer hours spent drawing up negotiation treaties meant he had little time to think about anything else. It meant he had little time to replay those words over and over in his mind, had little time to obsess over their possible meaning.

There were rare times when he was honest enough with himself to admit that he had a somewhat unhealthy relationship with his sister. Everyone knew they were close, a natural thing for siblings of similar age growing up together. He wondered what everyone would think if they knew what went on behind closed doors? How would they react if they knew that Sigyn would sneak into his bed some nights? What would his parents say if they saw their son and daughter sharing a bed, wrapped in each others arms? Loki had told himself, repeatedly, that it was nothing but platonic. But he knew, he knew that the way he held her was not a way a brother holds his sister. The way she looked at him sometimes, the love in her eyes was not the love a sister should have for her brother.

He had observed her with Thor many a time. Their interactions were nothing like the ones he had with her. Anyone who saw Thor and Sigyn together could assume nothing else but that they were siblings. They fought and joked and even irritated each other occasionally. For anyone who saw Loki and Sigyn together, it was a different matter.

He blamed himself. He had done nothing to discourage their unhealthy relationship. Instead his actions only served to encourage it. He was possessive and he was jealous. It was his nature, but when she was concerned the scale of his possessiveness and jealousy grew frightening. Every time he would see would-be suitors fawning over her, circling her like vultures, sinister thoughts would cloud his mind.

He recalled a particular incident, when Sigyn was younger. An older noble, older even than Volstag, had become interested in the young Princess. But the way he looked at her didn't speak of interest for a potential wife, it spoke of lust and sordid desires. Loki had caught him spying on Sigyn one day. The Princess was in the Gardens enjoying a pleasant stroll and completely oblivious to the beady eyes watching her every move. She had dismissed her ladies for the afternoon, preferring the solitude of her own company. She had never even suspected that someone was watching her, waiting for her to move deeper into the Gardens where she would be completely alone.

But Loki had. He had spotted the man spying on his sister, he had seen the look in his eyes as he watched her and he had known. He had known this man did not mean her well.

Without realizing what he was doing, he followed the man, followed him all the way to the edge of the river flowing through the Gardens. The banks of the river became steeper until they reached a spot where the river plunged away from the Gardens and towards the Great Cliffs framing the edge of the Golden Palace grounds. He could see Sigyn walking towards the opposite direction but before the man had a chance to follow her Loki made his presence known.

He had looked at the man dead in the eyes and the noble knew then that the Dark Prince was not here to simply admonish him for spying on his sister. The man had panicked then, he had drawn his sword and moved towards the Prince. He had raised his blade, striking the place where the Prince should have been. But his blade cut only air. The double the Prince had created had shimmered and vanished, and before the man could search for his opponent he felt icy cold metal piercing his chest. Blood poured from his gaping wound and from the corners of his mouth as he turned, casting a last look in the frozen green gaze of the Prince, before stumbling and falling from the banks into the river below.

Loki watched with fascination as the body vanished in the dark depths of the river, carried towards the Cliffs and away from his beloved sister. That had been the first time he took a life.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**"You have read your romances brother. You know such a love is impossible."  
"Impossible loves. I am very much afraid they can become an addiction."**

―Lucretia and Cesare, _The Borgias_

**"But we never before had secrets between us."  
"Some things are better left unsaid."  
"So I must divine then, the dark cloud on my brother's soul."**

―Lucretia and Cesare, _The Borgias_

* * *

_The evening breeze was refreshing and calming. The only sounds penetrating the silence of the starry night were the trickling of the river making its way to the stormy sea and the very distant sounds from the nearby towns. A figure draped in darkness moved with deliberate steps towards the hidden stairway connecting the Royal Wings of the palace. The figure moved quickly and quietly, well hidden from prying eyes in the shadows._

_A large set of gold doors lay ahead, adorned with emeralds and black onyx gems. The figure pushed the doors open and slid inside, navigating the familiar rooms with ease. At the bedroom entrance it stopped and let the heavy black cloak fall to the floor in a rippled heap of dark fabric._

_Draped now in only a sheer white nightgown, she moved closer to the luxurious bed at the center of the room. She saw him sprawled comfortably on the silk mattress, the moonlight streaming from the open windows, illuminating his fair skin and making his raven locks shine like ebony. She stopped only a second more to admire him. He looked so peaceful when he slept. She couldn't help but caress his smooth cheek as she moved closer still._

_Icy green eyes slowly slid open, taking her in. She saw that he was conflicted, almost as if he was fighting an inner battle with himself. But it seemed that the battle was a lost cause. Something in him snapped and he pulled her roughly towards him, reversing their positions and trapping her beneath him. She felt the tear of the fabric as he ripped her nightgown away from her, exposing her to him. His lips were on her neck, alternating between biting and sucking her tender flesh, ensuring his mark would be left upon her. His mouth soon traveled towards her breasts and she gasped when she felt him lick the sensitive skin exposed to him. She was drowning in him, in what he was doing to her, whiles she was moaning his name. She could feel him, could feel how much he wanted her and she was scared. The fear and the way he handled her roughly made everything painfully intense. Suddenly he plunged into her, nothing gentle or delicate about his movements and she whimpered in pain, clawing at his back to get him to stop or to go on she didn't know. He looked at her then, looked into her eyes. Icy green meeting warm brown and he smirked cruelly._

_" I thought this is what you wanted. Little sister ..."_

Sigyn's eyes shot open, adrenaline still coursing through her veins, making her heartbeat accelerate wildly. She took deep breaths, looking at her surroundings and trying to calm herself from the remnants of her all too vivid nightmare.

After a long moment she felt slightly more composed, at least enough to catch her breath. She sipped some water from a silver goblet on her nightstand and settled back, closing her eyes and trying to get back to sleep. Tomorrow was the eve of her nameday, the date set for the Grand Ball her mother had been planning for a month. She had to rest.

But alas sleep did not come to her that night. And when her ladies arrived to wake her, she was already up and pacing her rooms. Her ladies had assumed that the Princess was simply too excited for her upcoming party, and none noticed the anxiousness in her eyes.

Soon enough Sigyn was dressed and ready to head down to breakfast with the rest of the Royal family. She found her parents at the Grand Dining Hall busy in conversation. Once they saw her enter her mother had hugged her and wished her a happy nameday, even though her actual nameday was not until later that night. Her father expressed his similar wishes and soon they had settled for breakfast. Thor and Loki joined them a while later, with Thor giving Sigyn a bone crushing hug and mussing up her hair, his customary greeting for her. Loki simply graced her with a playful smile that promised future mischief and took his seat next to Thor . In all her family's excited chatter regarding the upcoming party no one had noticed Sigyn was far more quiet than usual.

Soon enough the King and Queen excused themselves and Thor made his way to the training grounds. Sigyn took this as her chance to flee back to her rooms. She hadn't even made it to the door when she felt him behind her.

" Leaving so soon little sister?"

Sigyn shut her eyes and took a deep breath before opening them and turning to face him. She had gone the entire length of the breakfast successfully avoiding his gaze but now it seemed her luck had run out.

He couldn't possibly know how difficult it was for her to look at him. How difficult it was to stare into his eyes and not remember the way they had looked at her in her dream. Lust, love, cruelty and possession. She could feel herself blush as she recalled the way she had moaned his name when he touched her. The guilt and shame threatened to suffocate her under their crushing weight.

This was her BROTHER. She had had an erotic, more than slightly disturbing dream about her own brother. How could she ever face him again? And his words, the way he had just called her "little sister" were in exactly the same tone as in her dream. She had to get away from him. Her sanity depended on it.

" Just busy. Party errands to run." She excused lamely, all the while trying to avoid his eyes.

"Alright then. I suppose I will have to give you your gift tonight." He smirked, knowing full well that the mention of presents always got Sigyn's undivided attention.

" Thank you. I'll see you later." And with that she almost fled the room, leaving behind a very confused Loki. What had just happened? His sister had been acting strange all morning. Had he missed something ?

In the end Loki deduced that she was perhaps nervous for the upcoming party. After all she would be in the spotlight, in front of two thousand of Asgard's most important citizens. He put her strange behavior out of his present thoughts and made his way to Council. Someone had to take care of the Realm's affairs.

* * *

The night of the Grand Ball found Princess Sigyn alone in her rooms, carefully inspecting herself in one of the large golden mirrors. Her ladies-in-waiting had just put on the finishing touches on her outfit for the night. A long silken white gown framed her figure and her smooth brown curls lay free, cascading down her back in luxurious waves. She favored simple diamond earrings which complimented the diamond tiara resting proudly atop her head.

There was no question that all eyes would be on her tonight, was the first thought that crossed Prince Loki's mind as he entered her rooms. She was a vision in white. So innocent looking, so pure...He moved behind her, placing his arms around her waist and softly nuzzled her neck.

Sigyn closed her eyes as she felt strong arms embracing her. She knew who it was, she would know his touch anywhere. Gentle, yet firm and possessive. Impossible to run from. But even if she hadn't known, there was only one man in the Nine Realms that she would ever allow to be so familiar with her. She didn't want to think. She kept her eyes shut and let herself revel in his touch. She had truly missed him. Missed his touch.

She felt him withdrawing one of his arms and she made to open her eyes.

" Don't. Keep them closed. Trust me."

She did as she was bid and once again concentrated only on his touch. She felt him brush her hair to the side before setting something cold and slightly heavy around her neck. A necklace she deduced. She heard a distinct clip as he fastened the necklace to her, before his arms were back around her waist.

" Open your eyes."

She did, her eyes taking in everything. The way they were embracing in front of the mirror, his eyes as they looked back at her in the reflection and of course the necklace. Living at court and being a Royal herself she was used to extravagant jewelry. Her mother, the Queen, owned truly magnificent pieces. But nothing like this. This was something else. Emeralds, larger and more plentiful than she had ever seen on a necklace were bound together in an intricate serpentine pattern of gold and onyx. It was divine. The emeralds gleamed with an otherworldly light and she was startled to realize that their color appeared to be changing constantly, almost the same way Loki's eyes would change from emerald green to stormy blue to icy grey.

She was searching, searching for the appropriate words to express herself but at that moment it seemed her face portrayed everything she was struggling to say and that was enough for him. He drank in her form, the way the necklace, his necklace, framed her delicate neck.

" Perfection." She heard him whisper, more to himself than to her.

She turned in his arms, staring up at him. His eyes clouded with emotions she couldn't handle. At that moment she had never looked so innocent, so vulnerable. The dark necklace around her neck, in his colors, was almost like a brand. A symbol, marking his possession. And with this last, dark thought a primal need to posses all of her flooded his senses.

Sigyn could see the storm raging in his eyes but before she could register what was happening his lips came crashing onto hers. This kiss, her first kiss, was not the way she had imagined it would be. She had often heard her ladies discussing such matters and all their experiences seemed to be summed up to a few words. Gentle, somewhat awkward and lighthearted.

None of those applied here. This kiss was passion, possession filled with a desperate need. She felt herself kissing him back just as urgently. When his tongue traced her bottom lip she was surprised, unsure of what was happening, until instinct took over and she opened her mouth letting him in. Their tongues danced and she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, afraid that if she didn't hold on to him she would fall to a place far far away.

And then suddenly he was gone from her, pushing her away from him. She watched him straighten up and leave the room, without so much as a backward glance to her. Sigyn fell to the floor, her breathing rapid and shallow. She had no idea how long she stayed there, but it was long enough that Lady Irin came to check on her. She found the Princess on the floor, breathing rapidly and staring into nothing.

"Your Majesty? Princess ? Is something amiss?"

Sigyn looked at the concerned expression of Lady Irin and forced herself to calm down and collect herself, as much as she could. They spend a few more moments rearranging her now slightly rumpled outfit. When they were satisfied that she now looked once again presentable, Lady Irin escorted her to the entrance of the Grand Hall, not once commenting on the state in which she had found the Princess in. Something which Sigyn appreciated greatly. It was indeed a stroke of luck that Lady Irin had been the one to come to collect her.

Sigyn made her presence known to the Royal Herald and awaited her formal announcement.

"Her Royal Highness, The Princess Sigyn of Asgard."

Sigyn entered the golden Hall, all the while maintaining a proud and dignified countenance. Countless pairs of eyes took in the vision that was the Princess and many were quick to remark on all aspects of her person. Soon the most popular topic of gossip was the unusual necklace favored by the Princess on this occasion. Sigyn was known for her preference of white and silver. The necklace was most definitely not in her colors. Of course it was not hard to guess whose colors it represented. After all, one had only look to Prince Loki's armor to see where the unique pattern originated from.

Sigyn was busy moving through the large crowd, stopping here and there to accept nameday wishes, compliments and to make small talk with Asgard's elite. The Grand Hall was almost full and for the first time that evening she wondered where Thor and her parents were.

She didn't have to wonder for long. Soon enough Thor's boisterous laughter thundered through the Hall, revealing his location. He was, as expected with the Warriors Three, all of them surrounded by a swarm of admiring ladies. As she approached closer she saw that Thor was sharing mead with none other than Loki, who was laughing at something his brother had just said and all in all seemed to be having a great time. Not a care in the world.

Sigyn despised him a little at that moment. How could he go on as if nothing had happened ? As if not even an hour ago he hadn't been holding her, hadn't been touching her ?

She turned from the sight of her brothers having the time of their lives and moved further into the crowd. If Loki could pretend then so could she. Tonight was her nameday ball and if she couldn't truly have fun then she would damn sure at least look like she was having fun. Two can play at a game.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**"The only thing that never tires me is you … Can you tell me why we're cursed with this feeling that feels so natural, and good? When we're together, God seems to sit in the room with us. And when you're away, I manage to forget you. And then…one touch of your hand and God comes rushing back."**

―Lucretia and Cesare, _The Borgias_

**"Can we become other than what we are?" _  
_**― Marquis de Sade

* * *

The party was well on its way, mead was overflowing as expected and the guests were in good spirits. To all outward appearances Prince Loki was in good spirits too. He was drinking and jesting with his older brother, busy enjoying himself with seemingly not a care in the world.

Tonight was the night Loki was most grateful for his tittle as God of Lies, for surely there could be no greater lie than pretending the way he was now. He wasn't calm, he was anything but. It seemed to him that there were two Lokis that night. The Loki who laughed and joked with his brother and the other Loki, the one who was busy reliving those few moments in Sigyn's room and desperately trying to keep hold of his sanity.

He had gone to her rooms with the intention of giving her her nameday gift. Nothing more. He couldn't even understand how things had turned out the way they had. She was his sister, his precious little sister, who was too kind and too trusting for her own good. He had spend most of the years of his life keeping her safe and protecting her from the evils of the world. And now...Who would protect her from him? He was disgusted with himself. What was wrong with him? Sigyn was so young, so innocent. How could he have these thoughts about his own sister?

Back in her rooms, he had pushed her away as soon as he had come to his senses. But the damage was already done. He thought about going back. Trying to find her and apologize. He had almost successfully convinced himself that their kiss had been a moment of temporary insanity. But he didn't. He couldn't bare to look at her, to look at the trust and adoration in her eyes. It made him sick. How could she trust him so willingly? So completely ? Couldn't she feel the danger he held for her?

He was going to drive himself mad if he continued down this path. Not even the many cups of wine he had consumed seemed able to calm his mind. Maybe if he was lucky enough he would finally manage to drink himself to death and then he wouldn't have to live with himself and with what he had done.

* * *

Sigyn had been busy mingling for most of the night. She had made plenty of new acquaintances and was fulfilling her role as gracious hostess expertly. She had pushed her conflicting emotions to the back of her mind and had resolutely avoided thinking about anything other than her party and her guests. She had even danced with potential suitors, much to her mother's delight.

And yet she felt empty. In all her previous namedays Loki had been there to play chaperone. They would mingle amongst the guests together, talking and laughing. She would dance with only him, and perhaps Thor, if he was sober enough, and then they would wreak mischief upon unfortunate guests who happened to cross their path.

She missed her brother, missed their easy friendship. He had been the one person in all the cosmos she could trust completely, the one she would run to with her childish problems. He would always listen, always give council and advice, no matter how busy he was or how petty her 'problems' were. And now everything had changed. They were avoiding each other at all costs. Pretending. Always pretending.

Sigyn didn't give a damn about the ball or the guests or her royal responsibilities. _None of it mattered if she couldn't have Loki_. That last thought made her realize it was perhaps time she put her wineglass down. She had clearly had enough for the night.

She needed some air. The crowded Hall was suffocating her and the noise was becoming unbearable. She hurried through the sea of people milling around the Hall and finally made it to the outer terrace, quickly descending the marble steps leading to the Royal Gardens.

Sigyn could feel herself relaxing as she breathed in the crisp, clean air. The smell of fragrant flowers and the quiet trickling of the nearby stream soothed her. She moved deeper into the Heart of the Gardens and away from the cacophony of the party. The soft grass looked so welcoming and she laid down on her back, staring up at the starry skies. She didn't know what time it was, but she assumed that her nameday had already come and gone. She honestly felt older, most probably due to the stress of the past few days.

A while had passed in the quiet world of the Gardens, before she heard light, steady footsteps approaching her. A figure laid down beside her, reaching for her hand and entwining his fingers with hers. Neither of them said anything, not wanting to break the spell of the moment. It brought back memories of simpler, less complicated times. They stayed there for a long time, how long neither of them could say.

" I miss you."

"I know."

Truth be told, Loki missed her too. She was the one good, pure thing in his life, untainted by political machinations and the cruelty of the world.

An unspoken agreement was reached then by the siblings. Things would be as they were. Whatever it was, whatever temporary madness had seized them both, it was now over. Whatever had happened would be forgotten. It had to be...

* * *

Life at the Realm Eternal went on, much as it always had. The Grand Nameday Ball had been a great success, with the guests discussing the extravagant food and entertainment for weeks to come. No expense had been spared and Asgard's nobility was thoroughly impressed. The only matter that seemed to slightly diminish the great success of the Ball was, ironically enough, the very reason the Ball had really been thrown to begin with. Princess Sigyn had failed to choose a consort.

The Queen was perhaps the most disappointed. She had kept a close eye on her daughter during the Ball and had seen her mingle and dance with many potential suitors. She had hoped that one of them would at least peak her interest.

And then Sigyn had vanished for a good hour. Queen Friga had assumed that her daughter had stepped out to take some air, but she had been gone for quite a while. People were starting to notice. Eventually Sigyn had returned, accompanied by none other than Loki. The Queen knew then that husband hunting was over for the evening. It was a wonder really that Loki had left his sister on her own for so long, in previous Balls the Queen could distinctly recall Loki attached to Sigyn's side, never letting anyone come to close. When she hadn't seem him with her daughter tonight she had been surprised, but it seemed that luck had run out. And so Friga had reluctantly resigned herself to the fact that Sigyn was not going to find a husband that night. So much for all the careful planning. She had invited every eligible bachelor in the vicinity. All for nothing.

* * *

Sigyn yawned, stretching out on her warm bed. Sunlight was peaking from behind the heavy silver curtains framing her windows. She moved to the largest window, overlooking the green and gold plains of Asgard. Today looked to be an ideal day for riding.

Changing into a more comfortable riding gown, she decided to skip breakfast entirely and make an early start to her outing.

She deliberated whether to ride out alone or opt for some company. It seemed her steps had a will of their own, finally bringing her outside the Council Chambers. She spotted a group of Council members milling outside, deep in discussion. She moved past them, swiftly entering the Chamber. A large stone table, as old as the Palace itself, stretched from one end of the room to the other and she spotted her brother at the head of it pouring over parchments and heavy tomes of books. He seemed to be absorbed in his work and so Sigyn used his preoccupation to her advantage, carefully sneaking up behind him and covering his eyes with her hands.

" Guess who."

Loki smiled and let himself relax in his sister's arms. It had been a long, tedious day and the prospect of yet more hours spent attending Council matters was not a particularly inviting one.

Sigyn slowly untangled herself from her brother and came to stand before him, slightly kneeling to look into his eyes. He seemed tired and utterly fed up with what was undoubtedly boring, bureaucratic paperwork.

She took his hand in hers and smiled up at him. "It's a lovely day outside. I thought it my sisterly duty to save you from your miserable existence." Sigyn got to her feet then, turning towards the doors and holding out her hand to her brother. A few moments passed, whiles Loki deliberated whether he should be the dutiful Prince and stay to look after the affairs of the realm or accept his sister's tempting invitation. Finally his resolve vanished and he took Sigyn's hand.

Soon they were at the stables, saddling their horses and exiting the Palace Gate. Riding was a passion they shared and for the first hour they raced each other across the lush, green fields and deeper into the forest east of the Palace. It felt good to be outside, carefree and away from everyone and everything.

Nearing the river, they slowed their horses to a trot, before stopping completely and dismounting. Sigyn had packed some food and wine and they enjoyed a peaceful meal, under the shade of the dense canopy of trees decorating the river banks. They spent the remaining time conversing about anything and everything, joking and laughing, the previous awkwardness between them seemingly nothing but a distant memory.

" I never properly thanked you for the necklace."

"There's no need-"

"No I mean it. Thank you." Sigyn took a few moments, struggling for the right words to vocalise her thoughts. "The necklace...When I wear it... It feels like there's a part of you in it. It's a nice thought. A part of you to be with me when you can't."

At her words Loki suddenly turned towards her, looking at her straight in the eyes. For once the ice from his own eyes was gone, only molten emerald green remained.

"I'll always be with you. One way or another." And Sigyn could hear it in his voice. It wasn't a promise. It was a fact.

"Always?"

"Forever."

* * *

The King's Chambers where usually a quiet and peaceful place. Today the King was pacing. Pacing anxiously and deep in thought. The latest intelligence reported uprisings in Svartalfheim, which wasn't to say unexpected. The Dark Elves were a warlike people and their rulers never seemed to last long. Under different circumstances the Allfather wouldn't waste time pondering on the dark, forsaken world that was Svartalfheim but news of rebellion stirring in Jotunheim had also reached the Allfather.

Asgard's power was great. But even the mighty Realm Eternal could not face enemies at both fronts and be sure of victory. Odin had been considering the best course of action when his wife, Queen Friga, had stepped in with a suggestion. Asgard need not face these threats alone. An alliance could be broached with one of the other great realms, Vanaheimr and Alfheim.

Alfheim was already closely linked to Asgard, Queen Friga's brother ruled as its King. The question was how to tie Vanaheimr to Asgard in a similar manner. The answer came yet again from his wife.

A Royal Marriage would unite the two realms in favor of all involved. Asgard would gain a new ally, Vanaheimr would have the honor of wedding into the Royal Family of the Realm Eternal and Queen Friga would rejoice that at least one of her wilful children would finally start a family.

After all, the road to Hel is paved with good intentions...


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

** "Being together, we harm nobody; being apart, we extinguish ourselves." **  
― Tabitha Suzuma, _Forbidden_

**"Thou canst not think worse of me than I do of myself." _  
_**― Robert Burton, _The Anatomy of Melancholy_

* * *

Sigyn was idly lounging in bed, reading a book of local folklore and contemplating the day's events. An uneventful morning of sewing and chatting in her solar with her ladies, promised only a dull day to come. And yet that night's dinner could be characterized as anything but dull. She and her brother had gotten up to their old antics and had wreaked havoc with their mischief.

Poor unsuspecting Fandral had his wine set on fire. Councillor Vrindn's cape became permanently stuck to his chair. And of course the victim of the worst prank of the evening was none other than Theoric, who had chosen an unfortunate time to try and engage Sigyn in conversation. By the end of the night Theoric's proud blonde beard had been turned an embarrassing, permanent pink, forcing him to retreat from the diner in a flurry of anger and shame.

Sigyn had felt a smidge of guilt then and thought perhaps that they had gone too far. But as she saw the glee in Loki's eyes and heard the happy laughter coming from him, she couldn't help but rejoice in his happiness. She would do anything to see him happy and relaxed as he was now.

The night progressed with no further incidents and she had eventually retired to bed with a good book and a glass of honeyed wine. She had left her windows open and a soft, cool breeze came in steadily.

There was a creak and then the soft sliding of her door. Loki entered and came to sit on the bed, next to her.

"Couldn't sleep. I thought you might want company."

Sigyn smiled, placing her book down and making space for him under the covers.

"Is your guilty conscience keeping you up?" She teased.

Loki gave her a look of mock offence and indignation. "Me? Feel guilty ? I would have you know that I am a model citizen."

Sigyn laughed at how innocent he could look when he chose to.

" Do all model citizens set their friends' cups on fire? Whiles they are drinking from them, I might add."

Loki dropped his angelic facade in favor of a devilish smirk. "I do what I want."

Sigyn grinned broadly at hearing his unofficial trademark quote. She had always teased him that he should engrave it on his breastplate. It suited him much better than the official one all Asgardian warriors were required to fight under. 'Obedience, Loyalty, Sacrifice'.

"So what DO you want ?"

Loki took a moment to answer, as if seriously contemplating her question and the he smirked. "Well, I wouldn't mind a golden statue of myself in the Throne Room. And maybe one in the Council Chambers . Oh and the Dinning Hall. Come to think of it there should be one in every room of the palace."

"You're insane. You know that right?"

"I am aware that my brilliance can be intimidating. But you shouldn't worry yourself little sister. Not all of us can live up to perfection. I'm sure someday you'll find something that you might excel in. Cooking perhaps? Or sewing?" Before he had a chance to continue mocking her with his patronizing tone Sigyn smacked him hard with her pillow.

She pulled back ready to smack him again, when he caught her by the wrist, flinging her pillow across the room.

"You really shouldn't have done that."

Sigyn gulped, trying to retreat from the bed before he retaliated. She managed to free herself and swiftly run to the door. But Loki was faster. Just as she had reached the door and succeeded in opening it Loki came up behind her, placing a hand against the door and forcing it shut.

Sigyn changed tactics then. If she couldn't escape, she would have to arm herself. Finally reaching her bed she grabbed a pillow and flung it in his direction. The impact did nothing to slow him down and he carried on advancing towards her in slow, deliberate steps. She flung another pillow but this time he caught it and threw it aside.

"You're running out of weapons little sister."

Sigyn looked behind her and indeed there were only two pillows left.

"You could always surrender." He offered with faux innocence.

"Never." Sigyn was fast running out of options and she knew it. She cast a furtive glance at the door, wondering if she could somehow outrun her brother and reach freedom.

Loki followed her gaze and smirked. "You know I'm faster than you. I'll just catch you and drag you back."

Sigyn knew he was right but she had to try. She used a final pillow to try and distract him and made a run for it.

She hadn't even made it halfway to her destination when Loki grabbed her, putting an end to her mad dash for the door. Sigyn fought him for a while but he was too strong and she only succeeded in causing both of them to stumble backwards, thankfully on the bed, rather than the painful alternative of the marble floor.

"Ready to give up?" The satisfaction in his voice only fueled her to struggle further. But alas it was to no avail. She hadn't even managed to budge him a little bit. He was firmly on top of her, holding her in place, with hardly any effort on his part it seemed. It wasn't fair. No matter how hard she tried, he would always be stronger than her.

Loki watched his sister's pout as she contemplated her defeat and couldn't help but chuckle. Sigyn hated to lose. She was like an adorable kitten, hissing and scratching, but never making any real damage. Finally she conceded defeat and went limp underneath him, placing herself completely at his mercy.

"Are you ready to acknowledge defeat to my superior powers?" He teased.

Sigyn said nothing. She refused to play a part in his victory parade.

"Not going to talk to me?"

Sigyn continued giving him the silent treatment. If she couldn't win their game physically, she would do so mentally.

Loki was both amused and frustrated with her stubbornness. He decided a change of tactic was in order. Slowly he let go of her wrists and propped himself up on his elbows so as not to have all his weight on her, pressing her down. He brushed some unruly locks away from her eyes and softly trailed his hand down her sides. His mouth descended to her neck, where he proceeded to leave a trail of chaste kisses.

"Come on Sig. Talk to me."

Sigyn knew what he was doing. He was trying to distract her and unfortunately it was starting to work. She tried to remain focused and keep giving him the silent treatment but it was getting harder and harder. She didn't have a chance to stop a small giggle from escaping her when she felt Loki's cool breath tickling her neck.

Loki knew he was winning. A few more moments and she would end her silent treatment probably to push him away and complain he was cheating. The moments came and went and still she didn't say anything nor did she push him away.

Loki continued his attentions, only lower, leaving a trail of wet kisses on her collarbone and moving lower still.

Sigyn's breathing sped up and unconsciously she placed her hands on his back, bringing him closer. Loki sucked the tender skin exposed to him, as Sigyn arched further and further back, exposing more and more skin to his attentions. When he gently bit down on her soft skin Sigyn failed to suppress a moan, a moan that sounded suspiciously like his name. Loki bit down again and this time he heard it clearly. A low, breathy moan of his name.

Technically he had succeeded at what he set out to do. She was no longer silent. But their innocent game, the thing that had started all this, was long forgotten. There was only now and the way they moved together and against each other, on the soft silk sheets of Sigyn's bed.

Loki's hand grasped her thigh in a silent instruction and Sigyn spread her legs slightly, accommodating him and allowing him to move between them, bringing him closer still. Then Loki's mouth was on her breast, sucking and kissing the hardening peak through the thin silky material of her nightgown. Sigyn's moans were becoming louder and when Loki ground himself to her sensitive center she gasped, digging her nails into his back and matching his movements.

Her reaction to him only served Loki's passion to become more unhinged and without warning he yanked the straps of her nightgown down, fully exposing her to her waist. He paused a minute, taking her in and Sigyn felt herself blush a furious shade of red. But her embarrassment was soon forgotten when his mouth found its way to her hardening peak, his tongue briefly swirling around it, before he took it into his mouth completely. He repeated the action with her other breast, all the whiles continuing to grind into her.

Sigyn felt as if she was going to explode from all the feelings and emotions coursing through her. As Loki's pace sped up, she could feel herself building up to something. Something unknown and wonderful and terrifying. The thin material of his breeches and her even thinner silk undergarment did nothing to hinder the feeling of his hardness pressing into her sensitive core.

Both their breaths were becoming more and more labored. Finally something in Sigyn seemed to snap and she reached an unexpected euphoric high, gasping and moaning Loki's name. Loki soon followed and with a final groan, a shudder went through him and then he stopped his movements completely.

Neither of them said anything. Loki had managed to collapse onto his side rather than on top of her and he held her to him. Sigyn knew that she should say something, anything, but she was tired. More tired than she would have thought. They both were. Sleep took them soon after and no more words were spoken that night.

* * *

The first rays of the morning sunshine streamed through the open windows of Princess Sigyn's chamber, slowly rousing her from a deep sleep. She opened her eyes to the quiet world of the early morning. The Sun must have risen only a few hours ago and all was still peaceful in the Golden Palace. She stretched and made to sit up, only to notice she was naked from the waist up.

Surprise was replaced by shock as last night's events came back to her. She turned then abruptly, half expecting to see her brother next to her, but he was not there. If it wasn't for the slight indentation left on the mattress where he had laid and the state of her nightgown she might have thought last night had been a dream.

She wrapped her robe about herself and started to head to her wardrobe when she saw her pillows strewn haphazardly around the room. She recalled how last night had started. The teasing. The pillow fight. The innocent game that had turned into something else entirely.

Before she had a chance to sort through her thoughts, she heard the main door to her quarters opening and deduced her ladies-in-waiting had arrived to help her prepare for the day.

Soon enough Sigyn was standing at the entrance to the Hall, hesitating to make the final few steps that would take her inside. Finally, she summed up whatever courage she could muster and entered, finding both her parents and her brothers already seated for breakfast.

"Ah there she is. We were wondering what was keeping you." Beamed Thor.

"Leave her be Thor. She had quite the night last night. Didn't you dear?"

That was the moment Sigyn's heart almost stopped. She turned to Loki and saw that although his face portrayed no emotion, his jaw was tense and he had visibly paled at their mother's words. She turned then to her mother with dread, expecting to see her knowing eyes staring at her accusingly with disgust. _They know. They all know. Mother. Father. Even Thor._

But when Sigyn finally looked at her mother she saw only kindness and amusement in her eyes. Sigyn's voice came out quiet and hesitant. "Last night?"

Queen Friga laughed, addressing her daughter once more. "Oh come now. Surely you don't think that we don't know what you and Loki were up to last night."

Sigyn turned her terrified gaze to Loki, who was gripping the arms of his chair with all his power. This was torture. Cruel and inhumane torture. If their mother knew, indeed if everyone knew what she and Loki had done last night why didn't they just come out and say it? Why play with them in this cruel, sadistic way?

"Don't look so grim child. At least this time your mischief wasn't overly dangerous. Although poor Fandral and his almost burned mouth would beg to differ." Spoke her father.

It took a few moments for those words to sink in and when they did Sigyn felt a wave of relief flooding her mind. Her parents were talking about the pranks she and Loki had orchestrated last night. They knew nothing of...of what came after. She stole a peak at Loki and saw that he too looked relieved. His rigid stance had slightly softened and he no longer gripped the arms of his chair with enough force to break them off.

And then Sigyn berated herself for her stupidity. Of course they didn't know. If they had, they wouldn't be sitting down having breakfast and making jests. If they had...She honestly didn't know what their parents would do if they knew what she and Loki had done. And she never wanted to find out.

It seemed that whiles she was busy with her inner monologue the conversation had carried on without her and when she forced herself to calm down and step out of her head for the moment, her parents were discussing affairs of the realm and Thor and Loki were planning their next hunting expedition.

* * *

Loki's mind was racing. He knew Thor was talking to him, he could see his brother's lips moving and he could make out some slivers of what he was saying. Something about hunting. Loki nodded and laughed and to all the world looked as if he was listening. He wasn't. His mind was anywhere but at Thor and his pathetic hunting trip.

This morning he had awoken not in his own bed, but in his sister's. That in itself had not been strange, in all their years together they had shared a bed many a time. Usually Sigyn would come to him, unable to sleep without his comfort and he would hold her until she drifted off to a peaceful slumber.

On rarer occasions he would go to her for comfort, particularly when they were younger. He had had strange nightmares back then. Dreams of darkness and cold and ice. Some much ice everywhere. Sometimes there was a voice. A female voice, crying and screaming his name. Calling out to him in a language he did not understand. Although he was surrounded by ice, he was not cold. Not really. It was the voice, the way it called his name that haunted him.

He made the mistake of telling his father about his nightmares once. King Odin had looked at him for a long time, saying nothing and hesitating, as if there was something he wasn't quite sure how to phrase. Then just as he was about to say something at last, his demeanor changed and whatever he was about to tell Loki was never spoken.

"A Prince of Asgard has no nightmares. They are for the women and the weak." Was Odin's only reply. After that Loki tried his hardest to forget about his nightmares, to forget the voice calling out to him so desperately. He hadn't had a nightmare in years, or if he had he did not remember it.

And so when Loki awoke with Sigyn that morning it took some moments for last night's events to unfold in his newly awakened mind. He looked at Sigyn sleeping in his arms, peaceful and innocent and for the first time in his life he hated himself. Gently untangling himself from her he quietly left his sister's rooms and he didn't look back.

The walk back to his rooms felt unbearably long. At every turn he expected to see the Royal Guard waiting to arrest him. They should have. They should have locked him in a place as far away from Sigyn as possible, for after what had transpired last night Loki knew Sigyn would never again be safe from him.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**Why did you betray your own heart, Cathy? I have not one word of comfort. You deserve this. You have killed yourself. Yes, you may kiss me, and cry; and wring out my kisses and tears: they'll blight you - they'll damn you. You loved me - what right had you to leave me?**

—Emily Bronte, _Wuthering Heights_

**Because misery, and degradation, and death, and nothing that God or Satan could inflict would have parted us, you, of your own will did it. I have not broken your heart - you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine.**

—Emily Bronte, _Wuthering Heights_

* * *

Sigyn had been summoned to her mother's quarters quite unexpectedly. At first, as soon as the words had left the messenger's lips, a sickening panic had filled her. _This was it. What she and Loki did had finally been discovered._ But as her mind raced she had to admit that it was probably her paranoia acting up once more. After all, two whole weeks had passed and no one had mentioned anything even remotely regarding the matter. For the first few days, Sigyn had dreaded every time someone would approach her and every time there was a knock on the door her heartbeat would accelerate madly.

And then days had turned to weeks and nothing had happened. No one had come to arrest her and life went on much the way it always had. Thus when she considered all that, she forced herself to calm down and made her way to her mother's quarters.

Queen Friga was seated in her solar, surrounded by her most trusted ladies and friends, and when Sigyn entered she beckoned her daughter to her.

Sigyn obliged, going to her mother and kneeling for her blessing. "Lady Mother. You have called for me?"

Queen Friga dismissed her ladies and asked Sigyn to join her in the balcony.

" A fine view is it not ?", the Queen said gesturing to the mighty land of Asgard,stretching beyond the Palace grounds. "A land worthy to fight for."

Sigyn nodded but said nothing. She could sense her mother had more to say.

" I was even younger than you are now, when I was sent here to marry your father. I loved my home and was loath to leave it behind. My mother told me then, that I must do my duty by my people. The duty I was born to do. I did not understand. It took years for me to realize what my mother's words had truly meant." The Queen paused then, her eyes taking a far off look, as if relieving her younger days when she herself had been a young, carefree Princess.

And then the Queen turned to her daughter, taking her hand in hers and matching her gaze steadily.

"Royalty is not a privilege Sigyn. It is a duty. Our lives are not our own. They belong to the Realm. I did my duty to my kingdom and now the time has come for you to do yours."

* * *

Sigyn had left her mother's rooms feeling older and more tired than ever before in her short life. The weight of responsibility was not an easy one to bear. Responsibility to her mother, her King and most importantly to the Realm itself. She heard her mother's words without really hearing them. Everything had slowed down and Sigyn had felt as if she was not really there. As if her mother had been talking to some other Sigyn.

Her purposeless steps had taken her to the Garden. The other Sigyn, the one she had been before she left the Queen's apartments,had loved the Gardens. They had been her sanctuary. A place to get away from everything. _Much like Loki's arms_. But the Sigyn that walked towards them now was not the same carefree young girl. How could she be?

Even as she walked further and further into the green of the Gardens, the Lord of Vanaheimr was reaching closer and closer to Asgard, to come and make her his wife. No longer will she be a Princess of Asgard but a Lady of Vanaheimr. They would be married here and then he would take her away. Away from these Gardens she so treasured. Away from her beautiful rooms and her magnificent view. Away from Loki...

Sigyn couldn't remember the last time she had cried. She collapsed now besides a marble fountain and allowed herself to mourn for everything she would loose, whiles knowing in her heart, that she was mourning for the loss of only one thing. The one thing she loved more than she will ever love anything in her life again...

* * *

Loki had been in Council meetings all day. With the news of uprisings in Svartalfheim and Jotunheim came the need for preparation of emergency battle plans and strategies. It was long work, important but tedious. Even Thor had deigned to grace them with his presence, although his only inputs so far were the continuing demands of imminent war. Thor was as much a politician as he was a diplomat and it was embarrassing. Loki had to sit there, nodding and looking as if he was considering Thor's ridiculous suggestions when all he wanted to do was take Thor's hammer, Mjolnir, and promptly knock him out with it. Maybe then the Council could get some productive work done. He loved his brother dearly, but there were times when Thor infuriated him with his simplicity and nearsightedness. _And yet for all his foolishness he is the Crown Prince. Not you._

The King had stayed silent for most of the meetings, preferring instead to contemplate his own thoughts. Finally towards the end of yet another, somewhat counterproductive hour gone by, King Odin addressed the Council. He mentioned the old alliance with Alfheim and said there was no need for Asgard to face these threats alone. Loki had agreed, it was something he had concluded himself. Then the Allfather spoke of forming a new alliance with Vanaheimr. Again Loki concurred, although he was wondering how that would be accomplished. Vanaheimr was a proud land and the Vanir had never really forgiven the Aesir for their domination of the Nine Realms.

The words that his father spoke then hit him like a burning arrow to the chest. A Royal Marriage to bind the two realms. His father didn't have to say between whom. Loki knew. He had always known this day would come. Sons were born to be heirs and succeed to the Throne. Daughters were the means to cement alliances, nothing more than bargaining chips. King Odin had only one daughter. Sigyn. _His Sigyn_.

That was the first definitive moment in time that the strands of Loki's sanity started to come undone...

* * *

News of the impending alliance with Vanaheimr soon traveled through the Realm. The Vanir Procession of Lord Ullr was expected within the week. Following the bitter eons of strife between the Aesir and the Vanir for the supremacy over the Nine Realms, Asgard had emerged the undisputed victor. And thus it came to be that Vanaheimr recognized Asgard as its overlord and the Royal Family of Vanaheimr were forced to barter their titles for their lives.

In the years to come the fury of war subsided and Asgard allowed Vanaheimr its autonomy. Although not allowed to claim their own King, as they still owed fealty to the House of Odin and to Asgard itself, they were allowed to keep their old Royal Family as Lords of the Realm. The son of Vananheimr's once King Odr and Queen Freyja became the first Lord of Vananheimr and his son after him took his place as the current Ruler. Lord Ullr of Vanaheimr and Princess Sigyn's intended.

The Golden Palace was bustling with preparations and the court was aflame with rumors and gossip. Princess Sigyn was doing her duty and preparing to greet her betrothed graciously as befits a Princess of Asgard. She knew nothing of her intended save that he was rumored to be a just and fair ruler. Her mother had told her that there would be time enough to get to know him. Indeed, a lifetime. Spent with him, as his Lady and as his wife.

A day after her mother had told her of her engagement, Sigyn had found herself outside the doors to her father's apartments. She had raised her hand and readied herself to knock. She would go to her father and speak to him. Tell him... Tell him what? That she wanted her father to call off the marriage? That she expected her father, the King, to put his daughter's wishes above the safety of the Realm? She would beg him to dissolve the betrothal. Then the alliance between Asgard and Vanaheimr would be no more. And thousands would die in the wars to follow. When Svartalfheim and Jotunheim attacked, Asgard would go to war without its principle ally. Her father would go to war. Thor would go to war. Loki would go to war. Was Sigyn selfish enough to put her happiness above the lives of thousands? Could she risk the lives of her family? Loki's life?

She had lowered her hand then and left her father's apartments. Princess Sigyn would do her duty by her kingdom. She would marry Lord Ullr and she would go to Vananheimr. She would leave Asgard behind. She would leave her mother, her father and Thor behind. She would leave Loki behind. All of them safe and cared for.

And thus the young Princess had absorbed herself in her duties. There were guest rooms to be prepared, meals and entertainment to be planned, and festive gowns to be made. Her ladies had been a significant help, running errands and attending to the smaller details she herself had not the time to. They were overjoyed for their Princess. For they knew Princess Sigyn was kind and faithful and giving. She would make an ideal wife. Some of them would even be joining her as members of her new household with Lord Ullr.

Sigyn was in her solar, surrounded by her ladies and listening to their cheerful chatter as she carefully picked which gowns she was to take with her to her new home.

"I have heard Lord Ullr is quite handsome."Laughed Lady Lofn

"I have heard he writes poetry and can play the harp." Added Lady Frin.

Sigyn closed her eyes, trying to blot out the incessant giggling of her ladies. She knew they meant well. A bit of lighthearted gossip to ease their Princess' tension. But in all honesty Sigyn had no desire to engage in gossip regarding her intended. Alas it seemed luck was not on her side today and her ladies carried on regardless, all but oblivious to their Princess' growing irritation.

" I would take a warrior before a poet any day."

" You mean you would take Prince Thor any day."

" Wouldn't you?"

" I don't know. He is quite handsome but so is Prince Loki. And he's charming . They don't call him Silver-tongue for nothing."

"But he's so cold and intimidating. I should think on your wedding night he would scare you half to death."

"I think it would be worth it." In all their excited chatter Sigyn's ladies had failed to notice their Princess had retreated to her balcony.

A while later, the doors to the solar opened abruptly and Prince Loki strode into the chambers, causing the giggling to seize immediately.

"Leave us."

One by one the ladies bowed to the Prince and silently exited the quarters.

The last rays of light dimmed, as the Sun subsided in the darkening sky. Light blue gave way to violet and then to a deep grey. Sigyn was staring out into the plains of Asgard, every now and then faint echoes of distant city noise were carried by the crisp evening breeze. She heard the soft sliding of the glass door opening and felt a familiar presence behind her.

Sigyn turned from the peaceful view to meet her brother's gaze and what she saw in his icy green eyes scared her. Nothing. She saw nothing at all, she could make out no discernible emotions. His face was devoid of any. And it scared her, for Loki was never more dangerous than when he appeared completely calm. Like the prelude to a sudden storm, Loki's calmness only served to warn of the great danger laying beneath.

He said nothing for a along time, an excruciatingly long time, which he spend regarding her with an emotionless, calculating gaze. Sigyn kept herself completely still, waiting for the inevitable explosion of his anger. But it never came.

Instead Loki addressed her calmly. " I suppose congratulations are in order."

Sigyn said nothing and continued standing as still as possible, unsure of how to react. Loki was so calm. Too calm. And she was sure no good would come of this.

" Your intended is expected on the morrow. You must be overjoyed. I hear he is quite the catch."

Sigyn could take no more of this. " I had to. You know I had to. I...I had no choice."

"You did."

Sigyn felt tears of desperation and frustration clouding her eyes. "Thousands would die. Asgard would be in danger. YOU would be in danger..." She desperately tried to make him understand. This wasn't about them. They had gone all their lives doing what they pleased, never having to face the consequences. But for once, once in their frivolous lives they had to leave their selfishness behind.

The turmoil of emotions left her exhausted and in the end there was only one thing left to say.

"I'll do my duty by my people." She meant it to be the final words spoken on the subject.

Loki advanced towards her then and Sigyn forced herself to stand her ground. He raised his hand, softly caressing the side of her face, before resting it at her neck. He closed the distance between them and briefly pressed his lips to hers. His hand still at her neck, she felt his cold breath on her ear as he whispered to her, before turning and leaving her alone in the silence.

Sigyn did not feel desire when he had touched her this time. She felt fear. Cold, gut-wrenching fear. She had told him that she would do her duty and he had answered her. She remembered the words he spoke to her whiles very briefly tightening his hand painfully around her throat in silent promise.

"We'll see."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**"If I married a thousand times it would always be the wrong choice."**

—Lucretia and Cesare, _The Borgias_

**"And if… my husband proves ungallant?"  
"I shall cut his heart out with a dinner knife. And serve it to you"**

—Lucretia and Cesare, _The Borgias_

* * *

The Great Hall was crowded with courtiers and nobles alike, all come to bear witness to the arrival of The Lord of Vanaheimr. Hundreds of candles had been lit, casting the Hall under a glimmer of golden light and the blood red banners of the House of Odin were proudly adorning every marble pillar and column of the Hall.

On the Great Throne of Gold sat the Mighty Allfather, flanked to his right by The Crown Prince and to his left by the Prince Regent. All three of them in gleaming armor. Odin's gold and grey bearing his sigil of a Raven. Thor's red and silver with engraved lightning bolts. And Loki's green and gold, on his breastplate a great dark serpent with eyes of emerald-known to all as Jormungandr, Destroyer of Worlds.

A step below the King and the Princes stood the Queen, in a gown of spun gold, and by her side the Princess Sigyn, draped in her customary white, around her neck the emerald and gold necklace much like the serpent Jormungandr on her brother's breastplate. Together the Royal Family stood as a symbol of Asgard's power and glory, awaiting the entrance of Lord Ullr and his Procession.

"His Grace, Lord Ullr of Vanaheimr, First of His name and Ruler of the Vanir."

As soon as the Royal Herald completed his announcement, the gigantic golden doors of the Hall opened and the Procession of Lord Ullr made its way down the plush red carpet and towards the Great Throne.

First came Lord Ullr himself, head held high, walking with even, graceful steps. At his appearance, quiet whispers filled the room, barely discernible over the ceremonial music accompanying his entrance. The court rushed to comment on the young Lord before them. And indeed he was young, perhaps the same age or at most a year older than the Princess herself. More comments followed, from his appearance and countenance to his choice of attire.

The young Lord had now reached the base of the Golden Throne, where he bowed respectfully, awaiting for King Odin's formal welcome.

" Lord Ullr, Asgard and myself bid you welcome. May your stay be long and pleasant."

The young Lord nodded in acceptance of the King's welcome, before addressing him.

"Your Majesty, I thank you for your hospitality and in turn bid you greetings from the loyal Realm of Vananheimr."

Formalities now dispensed, the King set about making introductions.

"These are my sons. The Crown Prince Thor Odinson and the Prince Regent Loki Odinson."

Lord Ullr bowed respectfully first to Thor then to Loki, but whiles Thor returned the bow with a friendly smile, the Dark Prince did not. Instead he gave a curt nod of acknowledgement, his face cold and haughty.

The King then resumed with the introductions. "This is Queen Friga, my Royal Consort and this my beloved daughter, Princess Sigyn, and your soon to be bride."

Lord Ullr moved before the Queen, taking her hand and bowing his head, in the customer way of greeting women of the Royal blood. The Queen smiled and bid him welcome to her Palace and to her family. Finally Lord Ullr moved before Princess Sigyn and repeated the gesture. Sigyn tilted her head graciously in reply, remaining silent.

Once the introductions were completed Lord Ullr and his Procession were given leave to retire to their rooms, to rest and freshen up for the upcoming evening meal.

Sigyn too had retired to her rooms to prepare herself for the evening. She could not believe how young her intended was, almost as young as her. She had thought, given that he was the Ruler of his Land, that he would be of Thor's age or at least of similar age to Loki. How would she and him, so young a couple, manage the affairs of an entire realm? But what had surprised her even more was how warm and friendly he seemed. Lord Ullr with his light brown hair and kind hazel eyes had looked to her with perfect respect and amiability.

And yet Sigyn had seen the way her brother had looked at him in turn. Although his face was blank and diplomatic as always when in court, it was not hard to guess his thoughts. Loki was thoroughly unimpressed at what he saw. He did not value the young Lord's friendliness nor his respectful manner. All the Dark Prince saw standing before him was a boy, smaller and weaker and insignificant.

* * *

The Dark Prince was heading to the Great Hall, still in his ceremonial armor, a dagger strapped to his side. The weapon of course was only for show. The hilt of the dagger was gold and adorned with emeralds, matching the rest of his magnificent armor. The dagger itself was as beautiful as it was redundant, for anyone who had heard of the Dark Prince knew that he required no weapons to battle or indeed to take a life.

Loki entered the Hall, accepting a cup of mead from his brother who had spotted him entering.

"A fine evening for a celebration is it not brother?" Beamed Thor, draining his cup and swiftly reaching for another.

"And what is it that we're supposed to be celebrating?" Countered Loki with a cold, detached manner.

"Come now brother, our little sister is to be wed."

"Oh yes. I had quite forgotten." Loki's sarcasm was hard to miss and Thor regarded his brother with a worried expression.

"I know you will miss her greatly, we both will. But that is no reason to take it out on our guest."

" Whatever do you mean?" Loki answered in a seemingly bored expression.

" You know very well. Don't play coy with me brother. Lord Ullr was very polite to us, to you. Couldn't you have greeted him less coldly?"

Loki's eyes narrowed dangerously. "What like you? Would you have me bow to him as if I were no more than a common peasant?" Loki's sudden harshness took Thor by surprise.

" Brother he IS of noble blood and soon to be of our family. I was only returning his respectful gesture." Thor defended himself.

"You are a Prince. You bow to none save your King. Has father taught you nothing? Or is it perhaps that your endless drinking and whoring has finally done your mind in?"

Loki looked at Thor and saw hurt and confusion in his eyes. He took a deep breath and placed his hand on Thor's shoulder.

"You must forgive me brother. My words came out harsher than I intended them to be. Still, you must remember that your are the Crown Prince. It would not do for you to be seen lowering yourself before anyone. You must remember that."

Thor nodded, grateful for his brother's advice as always and relieved at Loki's attempt at an apology.

"I will brother. But you yourself must remember that Lord Ullr is to be our brother soon." At the word 'brother', he saw Loki recoil in disgust but he nevertheless continued. " I have heard only good tidings of him. And you saw him with your own eyes, he is polite and kind and respectful."

" He is a BOY." Answered Loki with contempt.

Thor signed defeated, there was nothing he could say to make his brother see Lord Ullr in a more favorable light. It seemed Loki had made up his mind to despise him and Thor knew his brother well enough to concede that nothing he could say would make him reconsider.

Loki had finished draining his ninth cup of wine that evening and was searching the Hall for the young Lord of Vananheimr. Finally he spotted him with a group of his entourage, smiling and jesting, entirely unaware of the Dark Prince's icy gaze upon him. Loki scrutinized his form and what he saw made his contempt for the boy grow even more. He was slight and short of stature, perhaps not as short as some others but still only barely reaching to Loki's shoulder. The Dark Prince snorted in derision as he imagined this green boy in battle against him. But soon his cruel amusement at the boy's expense turned to anger. How dare they give his Sigyn to a boy barely out of swaddling cloths? How could this boy be expected to keep Sigyn safe from foes ? Bitterness seeped through Loki's thoughts. They would take his Sigyn from him, a God and one of the most powerful beings in the Nine Realms, and give her to this weakling. She would call this boy husband, she would bear sons to this pathetic child, all of them equally weak as their father. Without meaning to, Loki's mind filled with images of Sigyn and the sons he might have had with her. Strong, raven haired sons both warriors and sorcerers. He shook his head, forcing himself to stop this train of thought, lest it drive him completely mad.

Loki saw Lord Ullr excuse himself and exit to retire for the night. Loki set down his wineglass and headed for the exit. His own quarters were in the direction Lord Ullr had taken. Who knew maybe their paths would cross...

* * *

The hour was getting late and in a few more hours night would give in to day. And yet of the thousands who stood in the crowded Hall, attending the seemingly endless feast and celebrations only one among them had the thought to spare for the lateness of the hour.

The Great Hall had steadily been getting louder, as was to be expected and the inexhaustible flow of mead wasn't helping. Laughter, song and dancing were still going strong, with no indication that the celebrations would be over any time soon.

_Just as well. _The Princess supposed, for when this day was over, another would follow in its wake and then another after that, until eventually the day of her wedding would come. Better to keep this night endless, than to acknowledge one day less left until she would be a maid no longer but rather a wife.

The evening had gone by much like such evenings go. The Princess had spent the majority of the feast accepting congratulations and good wishes. She had been gracious and polite, her mask of the perfect and courteous Princess firmly in place. She had even conversed with Lord Ullr and found him to be as polite and as friendly as she first suspected. She could tell he was both intelligent and cultured, and under different circumstances she would have enjoyed conversing with him. It was a shame that she wasn't really listening to him. She would nod and smile at the appropriate times, as was expected of her, but other than that they could have been talking about anything, she had no idea.

Sigyn felt guilty. It wasn't that she didn't want to listen to him per say, it was just that any interaction with him was inevitably a reminder of her duty. Finally, the young Lord bade her goodnight for the evening in order to retire to his quarters. Sigyn deduced that since her betrothed had officially retired, she too could be excused from the feast without appearing rude to her guests. Lord Ullr took her hand in his, briefly kissing it and preparing to take his leave.

The moment his lips touched her skin, she was gone from the conscious world. Her eyes saw things no one else could see and it was only her teeth firmly biting her lips shut that kept her from screaming. Around the young Lord Ullr was coiled a great dark serpent, slowly tightening its coils deeper and deeper around his neck. The vision lasted only seconds and soon Sigyn was back to the conscious world, watching Lord Ullr regard her with a worried expression. "My Lady are you feeling well? You look as if you have seen a shade."

Sigyn managed to nod. " I am but tired my Lord. Forgive me." Not waiting to hear his reply, Sigyn took off as swiftly as she could without breaking into a full sprint in the middle of the Hall and drawing even more attention to herself than she already had.

She wished she didn't know what had just happened. But she did. After all, her mother herself had the Gift of the Sight. Sigyn shuddered as she remembered the great dark serpent coiling around Lord Ullr. What did it mean ? She was no prophetess, her visions came sparingly and were often completely incomprehensible. She would ask her mother but Queen Friga was bound by the Fates never to discuss her Gift. Was it an omen of doom? Of impending battle or sickness? She didn't know, the only thing she knew was that the suffocating feeling in the pit of her stomach would not leave her be.

Sigyn turned towards the corridor leading to her quarters and came to an abrupt stop. There was one other person she could ask. Someone more versed in the dark arts and the world of shadows than even her mother. She hesitated for a few moments but her need for answers finally won over and all too soon she was standing in front of familiar doors of gold and onyx and emerald. She gripped the handle with all her strength and forced herself to enter.

He was waiting for her by the fireplace, his back to the doorway and to her. She wasn't sure how to begin and when finally she did find the right words, he turned around to face her and all that she was about to say left her mind completely.

In front of her, on his gleaming golden breastplate was the great dark serpent of her vision. Jormungandr, the Destroyer of Worlds, and her brother's sigil. How could she have missed it? Her own necklace was fashioned in its very shape. Sigyn raised her eyes from the terrible sight of the serpent, until her gaze was once again one with her brother's.

Loki looked at Sigyn's eyes and he knew. The way she had looked to him, the confusion and then the dread and the terror that followed. She knew...Loki had left the feast after he had seen the boy leaving and heading towards his quarters. He had stalked the shadows after him, watching him much like a predator watches his prey, to learn all that he needs before he strikes.

And then his little sister had come out of nowhere, heading directly for his rooms. Loki was forced to give up his plans for the night and using one of the myriad hidden pathways of the Palace, managed to get to his rooms before her. For all the good it did him. From the way Sigyn was looking at him now he needn't have bothered, his little sister knew full well what he had been up to.

"NO! Not him. He's an innocent. Loki promise me. Promise me." Sigyn took hold of his hands, pleading with unshed tears in her eyes.

Loki looked at her, a sickening feeling twisting within him. " Have you grown fond of the boy then? Is that it?" Wrenching his hands from hers, he gripped her shoulders painfully and roughly pushed her against the wall.

Sigyn looked at the sudden madness in her brother's eyes and she was afraid. But not for herself. The fear in her heart was for him, for what he might become one day, if the madness and the bitterness was allowed to fester in him. She knew then that she would do anything in her power to prevent him from falling in the darkness. As long as she drew breath she would never let it take him.

Slowly she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and leaning into him she pressed her lips to his softly. Never before had their kiss been so gentle and she poured all her emotions in that kiss, willing him to understand everything she could not tell him with words. Finally he gave in to her and as he kissed her back, the gentleness of the kiss was replaced with need and passion.

Soon they were out of breath and Loki wrapped his arms around her firmly, keeping her flush against his chest and gently stroking her long silken locks.

"I would have killed him tonight."

"I know."

"I cannot watch you marry him."

"I know."

Sigyn held on to him, her nails digging into the flesh of his shoulders. When she had been but a little girl she had often clung to him for comfort, it seemed to her back then that whatever may happen she would be safe in his arms. Her brother would make it all ok. She had always idolised him, every since they were children, in her eyes he could do no wrong. And now more than ever she wanted to cling to that idea of him. Now more so than before she had to believe that her big brother would make it all ok somehow. He was her hero, chivalrous and kind and despite what she knew he had done, she also knew that he had never tainted his hands with the blood of an innocent.

She was being childish and naive and she knew that too. Deep down she had realised a long time ago that her brother had a side to him that was everything she was afraid off. He was not some perfect Prince from a fairy tale and she had no right expecting him to be.

"What are you thinking off?" He asked whiles entwining his hand with hers and holding it to his chest. He was calm now she could see, the madness vanished as if it had never been there.

She used their entwined hands to pull him towards the bed and she laid down in his arms, exhausted from the events of the day and the emotional turmoil that of late seemed to follow her daily.

She removed her gown, staying only in her thin underdress, his necklace around her neck gleaming in the pale candlelight of the room. Loki briefly touched the gleaming necklace and then traced the patterns of the emeralds until Sigyn took his hand in hers and placed it over her heart.

He held her to him throughout the night and although at some point sleep took her, he remained awake. He feared that if he were to close his eyes even for a second, she would be gone from him. It was a cruel jest of the Fates, that the only person he could feel for this way was his own sister.

But then again as he would inevitably find out, his life itself was nothing more than a series of cruel jests of Destiny.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**"They already whisper it of us, throughout the whole of Italy. Why deny ourselves the pleasure of which we're already accused."**

―Lucretia and Cesare, _The Borgias_

**"Angel when I look into the future all I see is you, all I want is you."**  
**"I know the feeling."**

―Buffy and Angel, _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_

* * *

It was a bright and beautiful morning and Lord Ullr decided to make good use of the pleasant weather of the Realm Eternal and enjoy a leisurely stroll in the Royal Gardens. All the stories he had heard about the mighty Asgard were true it seemed. And yet as he looked around him, he couldn't help but compare it to his own home. Vananheimr was Asgard's twin in almost everything but the sea, with his homeland being famous for its endless mountain plains rather than its great oceans. The Royal Family was amiable and courteous enough and as far as he was concerned, the war between Aesir and Vanir was no more than a distant memory of a long forgotten past.

Lord Ullr was somewhat perplexed when it came to his intended. The rumours of her beauty were true enough and she had been both polite and gracious. But she had also been distant and he could swear that a time or two he had seen glimpses of a deep sadness in her usually warm brown eyes. Of course that was to be expected he supposed. She would have to leave her home and family behind for an unknown realm and he himself was a stranger to her.

That was the way of Royal Marriages, his own parents had started out in a similar way and soon they were in love and devoted to each other. The Princess would come to love him soon enough and he was indeed more than happy to take her as his wife. The only shadow on his happiness it seemed was Princess Sigyn's brother. Although Prince Thor had been friendly and welcoming, Prince Loki had been cold and somewhat haughty towards him. He told himself that he shouldn't be surprised, after all the Dark Prince's reputation preceded him even in Vanaheimr. Still Lord Ullr had wanted to be on good terms with all of his fiance's family. He supposed there was nothing for it, it couldn't be helped and soon he would be back to his home with his lovely bride and ready to start their own family.

The corridors were all but deserted and from the position of the Sun, he deduced it was still very early in the morning and thus most of the residents of the Golden Palace were still asleep. As he was reaching the last corner of the seemingly endless corridor, he heard the slight creaking and sliding of doors. Perhaps one of his entourage was also up early this fine morning. But as he thought about it he realized that this was one of the corridors housing the Royal Wing of the Palace, where the King and the Princes had their quarters. Lord Ullr himself had been given quarters close by as an honor of his status as a future member of the Royal Family.

He deliberated, not really wanting to come face to face with the King or the Princes. It was simply too early in the morning for formal pleasantries and idle small talk for politeness sake. He decided to remain where he was and wait for whoever it was to make their way down the corridor.

A pair of tall golden doors adorned in emeralds and onyx gems slid open to reveal a figure in white. It's back was to Lord Ullr so he could not make out who it was but that was to be expected, he probably wouldn't recognize them anyway. In the last few days he had met so many courtiers, he hardly recalled half of them. From the small stature however he deduced it to be a woman.

The doors slid open further, revealing the Dark Prince himself and Lord Ullr saw him embracing the figure in front of him and gently stroking its face. Lord Ullr was starting to feel a little embarrassed at his own foolishness. Here he was, hiding in the shadows in order to avoid an awkward morning encounter, only to find himself witness to what was clearly the Dark Prince bidding goodbye to his lover. For what other reason would a woman have to leave the Prince's quarters this early in the morning? _Perfect just what he needed. His future brother in law catching him spying on him first thing in the morning_.

Finally the Prince untangled himself from his lover's embrace and with a final caress the figure turned to head down the corridor.

Lord Ullr felt as if he had swallowed something very unpleasant. A figure draped in white, with long brown locks. That should have been enough to make him realize who it was exactly that he had seen in the Dark Prince's arms. But as a final painful blow to the chest, he saw the gleaming emerald necklace circling her exposed neck like a serpent. He knew only one person in all the Realm who possessed a necklace such as that. Princess Sigyn. His soon to be wife...

* * *

The last remaining days until the Royal Wedding had been hectic and tiring. There were so many things to take care of and so little time it seemed. Asgard had not seen a Royal Wedding since the marriage of King Odin and Queen Friga and this marriage would undoubtedly be the event of the century.

Lord Ullr hadn't had a chance to spend much time with his betrothed, they were both busy with preparations, but he had seen her from afar and had even managed to exchange a few words with her before Dinner. When the Princess wasn't otherwise occupied either with royal duties or wedding errands, she was with her family. More specifically, with her brother. Lord Ullr had heard the court gossip, about how close they were ever since childhood. The more he learned, the more foolish he felt at his initial reaction the morning he saw them together. Princess Sigyn clearly loved her brother, there was nothing wrong with that. And thus he would resolutely push away the uncomfortable feeling that grasped him whenever he recalled how they had looked together and what he had assumed at seeing them that way.

Lord Ullr had observed them together in public, relieved to see that all was as it should be and he was somewhat disgusted with himself for thinking there could be something else going on.

* * *

Time was flying by, faster than the Princess could have anticipated. In three days she would walk up the golden steps of the Great Hall and swear eternal love and devotion, before the entire Realm, to a man she did not love and never would. The sacred bonds of marriage would be no more than lies on her behalf, for how could she swear eternal love to her intended, when she had already given it to someone else?

And so the last few days that remained until her wedding she had spent with Him. She would show herself briefly at court so as to have a ready alibi and then she would disappear for the rest of the day. They would go ridding or hiking and swimming, all away from court and from the constant reminders of her upcoming nuptials. At night she would use the hidden pathways he had shown her and she would go to him. He would hold her tight and kiss her and touch her. She would pretend that he was her husband and that it was him she would wed in a few days.

This night Sigyn was pacing, anxiously waiting for the court to retire before she could make her way to him, without danger of being seen. As she paced, she raised her eyes and looked at herself in the large golden mirror. Three days left. She looked at the ever gleaming necklace around her neck, and gingerly traced her fingers over the emeralds. The way they changed color was dazzling and she could honestly look at them forever. _Like Loki's eyes. _

Sigyn found the hollow doorway in her bedroom wall and pushed against it, until the hidden pathway behind it was revealed. She walked the shadows of the hidden pathway until she reached another doorway. Entering his rooms she headed directly for the large bed framed in dark green silk.

His eyes were closed, but she did not think he was asleep and she took a moment to look at him. Handsome was not an appropriate word to describe him she thought. Loki was not handsome, he was beautiful. The fair unblemished skin, the raven locks of silk and finally the fathomless emerald-blue eyes that looked at her now with both apprehension and longing.

Sigyn untied the straps of her white robe, letting it fall away from her. Loki's eyes followed the movement of the garment before looking back up at her. A silent question was in his gaze and she went to him.

Sigyn knew they were treading dangerous ground. With her upcoming wedding it seemed they now had more reasons than ever as to why what they were doing was wrong, as to why they had to stop now before it went too far. Sigyn was the Goddess of Fidelity and Virtue and here she was in her own brother's embrace, ready to commit the ultimate sin.

She felt Loki's hands deftly unbinding her gown, his mouth burning kisses on her neck and she told herself she would let herself have this. Just once. She would do her duty, she would do what she was told. But she had to feel him, just this once. _Just once._ Those two words she repeated in her mind, trying to block out everything else. Her reason, her conscience, everything.

Loki felt her surrender to him completely, ready to give herself to him and that gave him pause...

* * *

All was still within the Golden Palace. In the Dark Prince's apartments the only light penetrating the shadows of the bedroom was the pale stream of moonlight, casting the whole room in a silver ethereal glow.

The Prince looked at the figure lying beneath him on the luxurious bed of green silk. Her dark hair fell all around her, framing her pale skin and deep dark eyes. In those eyes he could see his reflection and all that she felt for him. Love was something he had often seen there, but this new-found lust emanating from her and its sheer intensity was something else entirely.

Sigyn closed her eyes, her nails digging deep into her brother's shoulder-blades, leaving behind them angry red marks. She titled her head further, allowing him better access to the sensitive skin of her neck and he rewarded her with more fervent kisses. When he bit down first playfully and then harder, she moaned. His hands seemed to be everywhere at once, caressing her in the most intimate places and eliciting a pleasure of a magnitude she had never known before.

When she felt his naked skin, flush against hers, she couldn't help the color that rose to her face. They had touched each other before but never like this with nothing between them. Sigyn was lost to the sensations of what he was doing to her and only when she felt him hot and demanding at her entrance did she realize what was about to happen.

Loki saw the realization of what they were about to do dawn on her features. He stopped his touches, going completely still on top of her. He wanted her. A part of him wanted to hold her down and take her, uncaring of her worries or her pain.

Sigyn looked into Loki's eyes and knew there was no going back. She didn't want to go back. When Loki's hand grasped her thigh parting her further, she braced her hands against his back. Loki looked into her eyes one last time before thrusting forward inside her. He could feel her resisting the intrusion around him, but he pushed forward finally reaching her barrier. Sigyn's eyes were locked with his and when he breached her maidenhead, she let out a pained cry and dug her nails deeper into his skin. He could see tears starting to leave her eyes and he kissed them away before starting to move inside her.

Sigyn was in pain. She knew it would hurt, had heard it from the few married ladies of her circle, but she never thought it would hurt this much. Then Loki started to move and before she realized what was happening, pleasure started to mix in with the pain. Loki increased his pace and she couldn't stop the moans escaping her mouth. She started to feel the build up of pleasure and finally she started calling his name louder and louder, her nails leaving trails of blood down his back.

Loki felt her starting to contract around him and with a few final thrusts he found his release inside her. When it was over he all but collapsed on top of her and Sigyn held him to her tightly.

But the morning came all too soon and Sigyn knew she had to leave before anyone saw her. Last night had been the best night of her life and waking up in Loki's arms today had been perfect. She didn't want to leave, she wanted to stay in bed with him, forever holding him and touching him and repeating what they had done last night again and again and again. She had told herself that she would only allow herself this once but when Loki had awoken her last night after their first time she couldn't resist him. It had still hurt but with each time it hurt less and less. By sunrise Sigyn had lost count of how many times he had taken her.

She knew this would only make things worse. After being with Loki this way she couldn't bear the thought of anyone touching her but him. Although she supposed it hardly made a difference. She had never wanted anyone else like this but him to begin with. She turned to him, stroking his raven locks and gently untangling herself from him. She really had to leave. Right now. She knew that if he woke up he wouldn't let her go, he would keep her here all day and all night and that was dangerous. Already it was quite later in the morning than she would have liked. If she didn't hurry back to her rooms now, her ladies would be arriving soon only to find their Princess gone and her bed un-slept in.

Sigyn stood up in search of her clothes only to wince in pain. She was sore, as was to be expected, and she knew that walking today would not be a particularly pleasant activity. Putting on her discarded nightgown, she stole a last look at Loki's sleeping form, before she headed to her rooms.

By the time her ladies had arrived to attend to her, Sigyn had already bathed and dressed herself. She knew she couldn't let her ladies help her dress for a couple of days, or at least until the love bites and bruises, in the shape of Loki's hands, were faded from her body. She had to be careful, no one could ever know what she and Loki had done. In her paranoia, she had even burned the nightgown she had been wearing last night. The only thing she had forgotten was Loki's sheets and as she thought about it now, nervously, she really hoped he would take care of it.

Sigyn tried to remain mostly seated for the rest of the day, and avoided her family and her intended as much a she could without arousing suspicion. She hadn't seen Loki yet and her feelings were torn on the matter. On the one hand, she had missed him already and being away from him didn't feel right. But on the other hand, she was somewhat relieved that he wasn't here. For she wasn't sure she could trust herself in public with him anymore. She didn't want to hide from everyone. She didn't want to have to wait until they were behind closed doors before she could kiss him or touch him. And with that thought Sigyn spent the rest of the morning fantasizing about what it would be like to be able to be with Loki in the way she knew she wanted.

In her fantasies no one cared if he was her brother, she was his wife and before Sigyn could stop herself she drifted off to a faraway scene. A field of colorful flowers. A stream. Sigyn was standing by the stream, her arms around a little boy with raven hair and emerald blue eyes. She looked up and saw Loki coming towards them. The little boy noticed him too and let go of Sigyn's arms swiftly running towards him. Loki bend down opening his arms wide, catching the little boy and lifting him to his shoulders.

Sigyn snapped out of her daydream suddenly. She looked around half expecting to see Loki and the little boy. A deep sadness overwhelmed her when she realized it was only a dream. Because it couldn't be a vision. In two days she would marry another man and she would leave Asgard behind. She would never be Loki's wife. She would never be the mother of his children. The little boy of her daydream would never be born. Sigyn put down her sewing and exited the Hall without a word to anyone.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**"You are still Lucrezia Borgia, my love. You'll only change your name when you marry." **

**"And when will I marry?" **

**"Never if I can help it!"**

―Lecretia and Cesare,_The Borgias_

**Despite the danger, and the horrible hopelessness of it all, I still dwelled deep in my elected paradise - a paradise whose skies were the color of hell-flames - but still a paradise." **

― Vladimir Nabokov, _Lolita_

* * *

The day before the grand Royal Wedding had been a relatively quiet one. All the preparations were already taken care of and so the Wedding Party took this last day as an opportunity to get some much needed rest.

Lord Ullr had wanted to spent as much of this day as possible with his fiance and so they had had an early breakfast, followed by a pleasant stroll through the Palace Grounds. Or at least, he thought, it was pleasant for him. His intended on the other hand seemed distracted. She was barely keeping up her own end of the conversation and she looked everywhere but at him.

Lord Ullr had to admit to himself that he cared for her and although he hadn't known her for more than a few weeks he knew she was the only woman he wanted to marry. And so her distance and the deep sadness he could see in her eyes bothered him. He wanted her to be happy. He wanted her to look forward to their life together just as much as he did.

It was with this frame of mind that he decided to break tradition and give her her wedding gift early. The beautiful necklace he was holding in his hands had been in his family for generations. Both his mother and grandmother had been given it as a wedding gift and now it was time for Princess Sigyn to have it. It was simple yet elegant he thought, a silver chain with yellow and orange gems native to his homeland. Lord Ullr hoped that this would at least cheer her up, he wanted to show her how much he cared for her and that he wanted her to be happy.

If he was being completely honest with himself, there was another slightly less chivalrous reason he was giving her the necklace early. Tomorrow at their wedding he wanted her to wear this necklace instead of the one he knew she would wear.

Seeing the great serpentine necklace of emeralds around her delicate neck made him somewhat uncomfortable. It was a constant reminder of who the necklace was supposed to represent and although Lord Ullr understood that Princess Sigyn loved her brother that necklace in the Dark Prince's colors bothered him. On their wedding day his bride should be wearing his own colors, he was the one she was marrying.

The closer he got to her rooms the more he noticed the somewhat lateness of the hour. It wasn't very late in the night but he deduced it to be late enough that his visit to the Princess might be considered inappropriate. Still, they would be married tomorrow and even though it wasn't appropriate decorum for a man and a lady to be alone together and unchaperoned, there was no help for it. Lord Ullr would give her the necklace, wish her goodnight and be on his way before anyone misunderstood his intentions.

Reaching the doors to the Princess' apartments, he knocked and waited for admittance. When no answer came, he knocked again and waited. Nothing. Lord Ullr was conflicted. He could return to his chambers and wait until tomorrow or he could enter now. He knew he wanted to give her the necklace now but entering uninvited was not something he was comfortable with.

Eventually, he compromised. He would enter quietly and if the Princess wasn't in her solar, he would leave. Opening the doors he made his way to the main area of her quarters, disappointment flaring through him when he didn't see her. Just as he was about to turn around and return to his chambers, he noticed a door slightly ajar. He moved closer, until he could see that the door was leading to the Princess' bedroom.

Lord Ullr wasn't a man who liked to spy around people's personal spaces, it was time for him to leave. That was when he saw them.

Princess Sigyn, his bride, his soon to be wife was against the far wall of the room, her legs wrapped around a man's waist and her arms holding onto his back. Both seemed to be fully clothed but it didn't matter. Lord Ullr knew exactly what they were doing. Sigyn's head was arched back and she was moaning as the man holding her to him pounded her into the wall.

Burning hot rage flooded Lord Ullr's senses. How dare this man put his hands on HIS fiance ? His hand went to the sword strapped to his side. Whoever this man was, Lord Ullr would make him pay for this. Freeing his sword he made ready to charge into the room when for the first time since he saw them, he actually looked at the man taking Sigyn against the wall.

He was tall, unusually tall even for an Aesir, but it was the raven hair that alerted him that something was very wrong here. Only one man in the Realm possessed hair as dark as this. As a final confirmation Lord Ullr looked at his clothes. Golden armor, dark green cape. Lord Ullr knew who the man holding Sigyn was.

A part of him had always known. His stomach clenched and Lord Ullr felt like he was going to be sick.

* * *

Sigyn knew they shouldn't be doing this, at least not yet.

It was still relatively early in the night for them to be together like this and she wasn't even sure if everyone was asleep yet. After dinner Sigyn had made her way to her rooms to change into her nightgown and patiently wait until the Palace was asleep and she could sneak into Loki's rooms.

But she had never made it to her rooms. Loki had come out of nowhere, taking a hold of her and yanking her to him. He pressed her against the nearest wall and kissed her forcefully. Sigyn was in shock, this was dangerous, very dangerous. She briefly wondered if Loki had lost his mind touching her like this in an open, very public corridor. Finally Loki seemed to come to his senses, at least partially and he half carried, half dragged her to her rooms.

Sigyn had never felt such intense need in all her life and from the way Loki was roughly handling her she knew he felt it too. He all but threw her against the nearest wall, his hands painfully grasping her thighs as she wrapped her legs around him. He yanked her dress out of the way and thrust into her, causing her to cry out in surprise and pain. He had never been this rough with her and Sigyn tried to control her moans as he pounded her into the wall.

When it was over and Loki went still against her, she could only breath fast shallow breaths and it took her several moments to come back to reality. She kissed him and eventually he responded, kissing her back in a slow gentle manner as if not just a few moments ago he hadn't taken her roughly against that very wall. Her brother was quite infamous for his mood swings, he could go from complete calmness to total uncontrolled rage in moments and it seemed that the closer it got to her wedding the more unhinged his moods became.

When both of them had finally caught their breath, Loki released her and using the hidden pathway next to her nightstand, he left for his rooms. Sigyn got ready to change her dress for her nightgown. She would make sure her doors were locked and that the corridor was quiet and then she would go to him. That was their usually routine and she berated herself for breaking it tonight. T

hey shouldn't have done what they did. They hadn't been thinking. Anyone could have seen them in the corridor.

She was about to start changing when the flickering candle light shined on something gold and glimmering on the floor where they had stood. Bending down she retrieved Loki's ceremonial dagger, he must have dropped it sometime during their activities against the wall. Sigyn couldn't help but blush slightly as she remembered the position he had had her in. Ladies didn't behave that way. She recalled all the other very unladylike things Loki had had her do and how much she had enjoyed them and couldn't help the lust stirring in her once again.

She never thought it could be like this. Lady Norf, the only married lady she was close to, had once told her that all she had to do was lie there and think of something else while her husband did what he would and then it would be over soon and she could go bathe. And so Sigyn had been a little frightened, what Lady Norf described didn't sound at all pleasant. It sounded rather like a duty, something done because it was what was expected of her.

None of that applied to Loki, being with him was highly addictive. No matter how many times he took her, she still wanted him. Sigyn wondered if she felt this way because she clearly loved Loki or if simply Lady Norf's husband had no idea how to please his wife.

Pondering her own thoughts, she reached for the door to the main area of her quarters. It was already slightly open and she pushed it open further. Sigyn passed through the doorway, exiting her bedroom, and came face to face with her fiance.

* * *

In the darkness of the dimly illuminated room she barely made out his form, that was silhouetted in a background of shadows. Harsh flickers of candlelight briefly lit his face, an expression of pure abject horror dominating his features. She looked at him and he looked at her. She couldn't say how long they stayed there, engulfed in that sickening silence that seemed to have suffocated the whole world.

Gradually abject horror was replaced by sheer anger and indomitable disgust. He looked at her the way one would look at the worst, most despicable criminal. In front of him was no longer the kind and innocent young girl he had grown to care for these past few weeks. He looked at her as if he was seeing her for the first time, as if seeing her for what she really was.

He wanted to hurt her, to insult her but his mind couldn't fathom what one would call a woman like her. A woman who did what she did with her brother, her own brother. She had deceived him and she had betrayed him. He had trusted her. He had cared for her, even thought that he had begun to love her. In that moment he knew he would make her pay.

His hand was still grasping the sword at his side and for a few brief moments he thought about just ending it all right there. But no, that wouldn't do. That wouldn't even begin to make up for what she had done to him. He saw her looking at him, saw those big dark eyes that had once meant so much to him and he wanted to hate her. He did hate her. But not as much as he hated _Him_.

She made a move to reach for him but he pulled away roughly, shoving her backwards in the process. "DON'T TOUCH ME!"

She looked up at him, still on the floor from when he had pushed her. "I'm sorry. I never meant to-" She had been trying to tell him how sorry she was, how she had never wanted to hurt him, how this wasn't about him but he didn't let her finish. He didn't want to hear it, any of it. And just like that his anger spilled over and burning rage was all he knew.

"You never meant to what? FUCK YOUR OWN BROTHER? Or maybe you never meant for me to find out. IS THAT IT?" He was losing it and with each passing second it became harder and harder to control his anger. A bitter, almost deranged laugh escaped him. "What about our wedding night? Where you going to wait until I was asleep and then go to him? IS THAT WHAT BROTHERS AND SISTERS DO IN ASGARD?"

At his last words he saw fear in her eyes for the first time that night. She hadn't been afraid when she realized he had caught her. He had seen surprise and sadness in her eyes. But not fear, not until now.

"Please. I'm begging you. You can't tell anyone about this. You don't understand. This...it's treason. Please. You can't. You can't. They'll execute him-" He knew she was still talking, still pleading but he hadn't heard anymore. 'They'll execute _him' , _that's what she had said. _Him. _Not me. Not us. _Him. _

After everything that happened. After all of it, her only concern was for Him. After her own fiance caught her with her brother the night before their wedding. After what she had done to him, all she cared about was Him. That did it for him, it finally pushed him over the edge and he grabbed her, twisting her arm painfully. He didn't shout now, instead his words dripped with hatred and malice.

"I promise you before the night is over the whole kingdom will know. I won't rest until everyone knows. Your parents. The court. Everyone will know how fucked up and depraved you and your psychotic brother are. I won't rest until your precious Loki is dead." He couldn't bear to touch her for too long, it made him sick and so with his final words he pushed her away from him and turned towards the door. He would go to the King and tell him everything. Tell him what his sweet innocent daughter and his beloved son had been doing behind closed doors. He wanted to be the one to take Loki's life just as He had taken Sigyn from him, but a small resentful part of himself knew that in a fight he was no match for the Dark Prince and his deceitful and accursed sorcery.

But he would still get his revenge. No, his justice. He had sisters of his own and he could never... not EVER. He couldn't understand how a brother could do that to his sister. It was sick and unnatural.

Lord Ullr finally reached the outer doors leading out of the Princess' apartments. Grasping the golden handle he made ready to yank the doors open. But he never did. A sharp, piercing pain shot through his body and when his hand reached instinctively to his chest he felt warm, thick liquid coating his fingers. Surprise and shock overtook him and the last thing he saw as he turned was the Princess, in her hands a gleaming golden dagger with its blade painted red.

* * *

Loki was anxious. He was pacing his rooms, restlessly waiting for his sister. She should have been there by now. He had left her to get changed almost an hour ago.

He was slightly angry at himself. He had been very careless tonight, almost as careless as the first night they were together. He couldn't help but smirk as he remembered waking up the next morning and seeing the state of his room. His bed had been a mess and when he had seen the dark spots of blood on his sheets it all came back to him, confirming that at last Sigyn was finally his. No matter what happened in the future, she wound always belong to him. According to the Ancient Laws of the Realm, Sigyn was now technically his wife and tomorrow's pathetic charade with Lord Ullr would mean nothing. As far as the Old Ways were concerned she was already married. To him.

A creaking sound pulled him out of his thoughts. At the doorway of the hidden passageway to his bedroom stood Sigyn still in her dress. Loki moved closer to her, ready to pull her to him when a soft breeze ruffled the dark curtains of his open window. Streams of pale moonlight flooded through the parted curtains, bathing Sigyn in light. His emerald blue eyes widened in shock.

Her dress was no longer white but rather covered in gashes of crimson liquid that could only be one thing. Blood.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**"I will never wash this blood away"**  
**"Then I must. You will be naked, clean and bloodless again. And mine."**

―Lucretia and Cesare,_The Borgias_

**"When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love." **

― J.K. Rowling, _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince_

* * *

Loki blinked. Once. Twice. The image in front of him remained unchanged.

Sigyn's dress was still painted crimson with blood and his first thought was for her safety. For a few brief seconds he feared she was hurt. And then, almost instantly, the more rational aspects of his mind took over. There was a lot of blood. Too much. There was simply no way she could have lost so much blood and still have had the strength to walk to his rooms.

His next thought infused him with a painful clarity. _The blood was not hers._

Loki took a few hesitant steps towards her, worried that he might startle her out of her shocked daze.

"Sigyn?" His tone was soft but apprehensive. He knew he had to get her to tell him what had happened but a part of him wasn't sure he wanted to know.

Silence stretched on ominously and he tried again.

"My love?" He thought his term of endearment might make her more responsive but when he looked at her, really looked at her, he saw that her face was frozen in a mask of pure shock and horror.

Loki was not known for his patience when it came to getting pressing answers and so this time he tried an alternate approach. His hand tilted her face up somewhat roughly, forcing her to meet his piercing gaze.

"I can't help you unless you tell me what happened!"

Moments of eerie quite passed and he was starting to lose hope of getting through to her. Slowly, almost hesitantly Sigyn reached for her brother's hand. Turning on her heels she traced the way back to her rooms, following the shadows of the hidden passageways with Loki by her side.

At the threshold to her rooms she stopped.

Loki tried pulling her gently with him the rest of the way but she stood motionless like a fine sculpture of rigid granite. Crossing the threshold to her rooms he made his way to the main area of her quarters, a heavy feeling of unease eating away at him. His steps echoed in the gravely silence of the room. Loki felt something beneath the leather of his boot and bending down he retrieved his ceremonial dagger. He must have dropped it sometime during his time with Sigyn against the wall. _No that wasn't right_. They had been in her bedroom, a fair distance away from where he now found his dagger.

Loki looked at the dagger more closely, slowly piecing together the parts of the night's horrifying puzzle. _It was coated with blood._ His next train of thought would have been on the subject of whose blood it was exactly. But that was not necessary. A few paces form where he stood, lying in a pool of his blood was Lord Ullr, his eyes staring up lifelessly at him. In his surprise, Loki had even forgone thinking of his as 'boy' and had actually, for the first time, addressed him in his head with his proper title.

A myriad things plagued his mind at once. Questions. Ideas. Plans. But Loki was not a naive boy fresh to carnage. He was a warrior and he was a man of unsurpassed intellect. His training took over a moment later and a calm confidence replaced any feelings of shock and the smaller but still present traces of panic that would have undoubtedly built up if he let them.

In front of him he didn't see the bloody corpse of someone he had known. Instead he saw a problem to be solved and his mind was working a mile a second, formulating the most efficient course of action.

He glanced at his sister, still in her statue-like stillness but forced himself to ignore his concern for her. One of them had to remain calm and above all rational. The time would come later for consolation and for his burning need to know what exactly had transpired in the brief amount of time he had left her to get changed. He crossed the distance between them and gently caressed her face.

"I will take care of this. I promise." He did not know what else to say. What did one say in a situation like the one they presently found themselves in?

Loki pushed her gently in the direction of her bedroom, removing her from the grizzly scene, before getting to work. There were a few hours left until daylight and he had a body, no a problem, to get dispose off.

* * *

Sigyn heard the door to her bedroom being closed and assumed Loki did not want her to emerge until he came for her. Being on her own, in the quiet comfort of her bedroom, seemed to ease her from her motionless state of shock. She looked at herself in the large golden mirror and for the first time that night she took notice of her horrific appearance. Her dress had to go. Pushing it off her she let if fall in the glowing flames of her fireplace. Her under-gown was next. Naked now, she couldn't help but notice that a minute fraction of blood had seeped through her dress and was now staining her fair skin.

Sigyn didn't know how much time had passed.

The concept of time seemed to have been lost on her. She sat now, partly submerged in the spacious marble pool that served as her bathtub. She had scrubbed her skin raw and even when the traces of blood had been long washed off, she had kept scrubbing. Now lounging in the warm depths of the scented water, she let herself recall the events of the night. The fear of breaking down had caused her to forbid herself from recalling the events all night. But now the time had come. She couldn't hide the horrors behind the barriers she had built any longer.

When she had opened the door and seen him, she hadn't been scared. She was shocked and anxious and even saddened. But not scared. When she saw the hurt in his eyes she had felt guilt and shame. She had never wanted to hurt him this way. He didn't deserve what she had done to him. When she had seen the disgust in his face, she had felt sick and dirty.

It wasn't until he had uttered those words that she had felt pure fear. And he had seen that.

She tried to reason with him. Begged him even. Perhaps to him it meant nothing, perhaps her pleas were insignificant. But Sigyn never begged. In all her life only once before had she been reduced to begging. Ironically enough both times seemed to revolve around the same thing. _Loki_. And so Sigyn forced herself to ignore her pride screaming at her and begged. Not for herself. She was not a simpleton, she knew that she was as guilty of treason as her brother was and she knew what the penalty for treason was. But at that moment, all that her mind seemed to be screaming was _not Loki, please not Loki. _

But her intended was not moved by her pleas. If anything he seemed to only be further angered by them. And then he had said the words that had changed her life forever. He would not rest until Loki was dead. Something happened to Sigyn at those words. A part of her she didn't even know existed emerged to the surface and her mind went quiet.

When she came to again, her mind once again cataloging everything, she was standing over Lord Ullr's bloody form with a bloodstained dagger in her hand. Her first emotion was perversely that of relief. Loki was safe. And then a flood of emotions took its place, all of them painful and intense and confusing. Horror. Sorrow. Guilt. Agony. Shock. Disgust.

In order to protect herself she had gone in to an almost catatonic state, where she blocked out everything. That was how Loki had found her. Sigyn wanted to cry and weep and even sob. She knew that that was what a normal person would do. She wanted to stay curled up in a ball at some dark corner of her room for days. That was the right thing to do.

Instead she laughed, a bitter, hollow and ugly laughter. She recalled that night at the Dinner in honor of her intended. She recalled her brief but highly disturbing vision. The dark serpent coiling around Lord Ullr's throat and suffocating the life out of him. She had been confused as to its meaning until she had seen the serpent Jormungandr, her brother's sigil. She had thought then that she knew of what her vision foretold. A warning of Lord Ullr's demise at the hands of her brother. And so she had asked Loki to promise her that he wouldn't hurt him. She had told him he was an innocent and Sigyn couldn't stand the idea of her brother staining his hands with the blood of an innocent.

But visions were as ambiguous as destiny itself. They could be interpreted a myriad different ways, with entire kingdoms lost due to their misinterpretation. Not in a million years would Sigyn ever dream of what her vision actually meant to warn of. Sitting in the scented pool of water, the only thing she wore was the serpentine necklace that never left her neck.

She had assumed that the serpent of her vision represented Loki. It didn't, Sigyn was the serpent. She was the one that was destined to cause Lord Ullr's death.

And yet her interpretation was not wholly wrong. Although Sigyn was the serpent. Loki was the reason the serpent attacked. It could never allow anyone to hurt Loki. She could never allow anyone to hurt her brother.

* * *

They came for her a few hours after dawn. She was in bed, pretending to be asleep when they came. Laughter and excited cheers filled the room as the ladies-in-waiting came to prepare their Princess for what was to be the happiest day of her life. Her wedding day.

And so Sigyn let them drag her out of bed and bathe her and dress her in her wedding white. She let them comb her hair and fix her up in jewels and silk. Sigyn smiled and nodded and once or twice even laughed. She played the part of the blushing bride and waited, waited for the inevitable knock on the door. The knock that would put an end to the wedding festivity and instead usher in a time of mourning and sorrow and confusion.

She was in her magnificent wedding gown, surrounded by her giggling ladies, when the knock finally came. Lady Irin answered the door, a smile grazing her pretty face. Then the news came and Lady Irin's smile was gone. She turned to her Princess with shock and sadness, mustering the strength to tell her beloved Princess that her wedding would not go on today. Or any other day. For Princess Sigyn's intended, Lord Ullr, was gone.

Sigyn played her part of course. She gasped in shock and even managed to force tears to her eyes. Loki had been very specific on the matter. _When they come for you, you must be ready. You must play your part and you must convince them. Our lives depend on it..._ And thus, as always, Sigyn did what Loki told her. She pretended. She pretended that last night had never happened. She pretended that she had never held the dagger coated in Lord Ullr's blood. She pretended that she had never seen the light leave his eyes as she manically brought down the dagger on his defenseless form.

The Palace was in chaos. Everywhere people dashed from one place to another, bringing news, taking news or simply trying to find out what had happened. While Sigyn's ladies were preparing her for her wedding day, Lord Ullr's procession had gone to find their Lord. But he was not in his rooms. They had searched everywhere for him and when they hadn't found him, they had gone to the King. King Odin had ordered the entire Palace grounds searched.

Finally as the day wore on with no answers, a member of the Royal Guard entered the Throne Room, in his hands Lord Ullr's torn cape. He told of how he was patrolling the Grounds near the Great Cliffs when he saw the torn fabric washed ashore. It wasn't much later that Lord Ullr's own Master of the Horse stepped forward to say that his Lord often enjoyed ridding in the area of the Cliffs and their magnificent view.

A story begun to form, putting together a possible sequence of events regarding the fate of the young Lord.

By evening that day, it was the general consensus that Lord Ullr had saddled a horse and gone for a ride near the Great Cliffs. Perhaps he couldn't sleep from the excitement of his coming wedding. Or perhaps he wanted to see the view he had so come to adore before he returned to his homeland with his new bride. Whatever the reason, the story went on to tell of how in the darkness his horse lost its footing and how the young Lord fell off the Cliffs and into the oblivion of the dark sea below. The perfect story. Explaining everything, while ensuring that Lord Ullr's untimely demise would be viewed as nothing more than a tragic accident.

Sigyn didn't doubt that Loki was involved in the creation of the story. And how convenient that Lord Ullr's Master of the Horse suddenly remember that his Lord liked to ride in that particular area.

The remainder of that bleak day was spent trying to find Lord Ullr's body. Hundreds of boats had left Asgard's shores with the hopes of locating it. But Sigyn knew they would never find him. She knew her brother would never allow for the body to be found, for one look at the stab wounds would shatter the convenient theory of the tragic 'accident'.

She hadn't asked what Loki had done with the body. She didn't want to know.

Midnight came and went and Sigyn was still in the Throne Room, surrounded by throngs of people. All of them expressing their condolences. All of them trying to be there for their distraught Princess, who had become a widow before she could become a bride. Thor had come to her and hugged her tight, telling her how sorry he was and pleading with her to tell him what he could do to ease her pain. Her mother had looked at her with nothing but sorrow and pity, pity at seeing her only daughter's future gone before it had even begun. Even the King, her father, had patted her awkwardly on the shoulder and told her that he was sorry for her loss.

Sigyn wanted to disappear. She wanted to leave this crowded place and never come back. Every time someone expressed his condolences she felt sick. Every time someone said they were sorry for her loss, she wanted to scream. All these people surrounding her, all of them deep in mourning. They were all a reminder of how she was supposed to be feeling. She was supposed to be sad and desolate. She was supposed to feel loss and sorrow. Her fiance was dead. But Sigyn felt nothing. Even last night's feelings of guilt and remorse had abandoned her. She felt nothing. Absolutely nothing.

She noticed someone taking their place by her side. Looking up she saw a pair of emerald blue eyes just as empty, just as hollow as her own. She was surrounded by thousands of people on all sides, all of them thinking they knew how she felt. All of them thinking they could empathize with her. And yet in the sea of people only one knew what she really felt at that moment.

Taking her hand in his, Loki looked down at his sister and saw the emptiness in her eyes. If he had been a good person he would have felt guilty. He would have felt remorse at what he had made her become, for Loki could clearly see that the sweet, innocent girl that was his sister was dead. He himself had killed her, taking her innocence in more ways than one.

But Loki was not a good person. He did not feel empathy or compassion and so he did not feel guilt or remorse. His little sister was gone and looking at her now, Loki wondered what had taken her place. Wondered what exactly it was that he had created.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

**"We are no guiltier in following the primitive impulses that govern us than is the Nile for her floods or the sea for her waves."  
**— Marquis de Sade, _Aline et Valcour _**  
**

**"Moral wounds have this peculiarity - they may be hidden, but they never close; always painful, always ready to bleed when touched, they remain fresh and open in the heart." **_  
― _Alexander Dumas,_ The Count of Monte Cristo__  
_

* * *

The days that followed Sigyn's almost wedding day had officially been designated for mourning. As a sign of respect to Lord Ullr, who had not only been Asgard's ally but also Princess Sigyn's intended, the Palace was deep in mourning. Dances and festivals were cancelled, courtiers changed their lively dress for black somber attires and the general feelings dominating were those of loss and sadness.

King Odin had dispatched nearly a quarter of his Royal Guard to escort what was left of Lord Ullr's Procession back to Vanaheimr. Had there been a body to mourn, the Guard would have had the task of carrying it back. Alas, the only thing they were able to return to the young Lord's distraught family was his bloodied torn cape.

Loki had watched the departure of the 'funeral' procession from his chamber window. He had no idea what time it was. Not that it mattered. Time was such a fickle thing, shifting and changing from situation to situation. During the days leading up to _her_ wedding there just didn't seem to be enough time. Days were flying by, faster than a trickling stream. And now, after everything, time had seemed to if not stop completely, then at least slow to a crawl.

Loki wanted these days to pass. He was tired of mourning. Or to be more accurate, he was tired of pretending to be mourning. It was tiresome, irksome and quite frankly entirely dull. Palace life had been put on hold with every festivity that gave court life enjoyment being suspended. And for what ? To mourn a pathetic boy that all in all had spent less than a month of his entire life in the Realm Eternal?

No, the Dark Prince didn't see the purpose of it all. Mourning for the sake of mourning did not appeal to him. Of course Loki would also tell himself that keeping up appearances and thus placing Sigyn and himself above suspicion should have been purpose enough. After all, however insignificant Lord Ullr might have been to Loki, he was still Asgard's ally. It wouldn't do for the Dark Prince to appear disrespectful towards his memory.

And of course there was also Lord Ullr's family. Yes the story he had come up with was both convincing and plausible, but it was still just that- a story. Something he had concocted to protect his sister and to be honest, himself. Already there were some asking questions. Rumors and whispers had begun circulating. He knew that Lord Ullr's family would not rest until they knew all there was to know regarding his tragic demise.

Loki hadn't mentioned any of this to his sister of course. He had made a choice the night he had found her covered in the boy's blood. That night had simply never happened. They would never speak of it and it would cease to exist for them.

And so for the days that followed he had done just that. He had successfully convinced himself and he had forced Sigyn to do the same.

Under different circumstances, Loki may have been slightly alarmed at how passively she seemed to be taking the whole situation. Sigyn's eyes had always betrayed her, one look at their expressive depths and Loki knew what she was thinking. These past few days Sigyn's eyes had shifted to a dull dark brown and no matter how hard or how long he tried, he just couldn't seem to read anything in them.

After a few times spent observing her, a disturbing thought slowly begun to form in the back of his mind. _Perhaps he couldn't see anything in Sigyn's eyes because there simply was nothing left to see anymore. _

Loki was no simpleton, he more than understood that what Sigyn had done would have consequences. He himself had never experienced guilt at taking a life, whether on the battlefield or elsewhere. But Sigyn was different. She had led a sheltered life in the Golden Palace, hidden away from the horrors of the world. No, Sigyn was not like him. Ever since he could remember there had always been a _goodness_ in his sister, something that he had sometimes envied and coveted. Loki might not be able to feel those feelings himself but he could identify them in others. His sister had been a beacon of compassion and kindness. There just seemed to be something in her that was always compelling her to reach out and help.

Loki understood aiding someone if they were in his immediate path. After all he was a Prince, sworn to protect and defend his subjects. It wouldn't do for his status to be seen ignoring their pleas for assistance. But actively seeking out those who needed help? No, that was not something he had the time nor the inclination to do. In the past he had often found himself exacerbated by his sister's persistence in doing just that. He simply couldn't understand it. And now things had changed. His sweet, innocent sister had blood on her hands. Because of him. Because of what he had led her into.

Loki could feel a migraine well on its way, he had to rest. The past few days had really taken their toll on his mind. All of his strategic plans, brilliant excuses and lies came with a cost, and combined with the constant worry of being discovered Loki really needed some time to himself.

"Your Majesty, pardon the intrusion. His Grace, the King, requests your presence in the Council Chambers."

Loki turned, somewhat annoyed, to address the page that had presumed to interrupt his peace. Seeing the frightened look in the lad's eyes amused him. What did the boy think? That he would murder him on the spot? Loki had always inspired apprehension and even fear but this was getting ridiculous.

"Very well. Inform His Grace that I shall attend to him shortly." The boy gave a hasty bow in by way of a response and swiftly exited the Prince's rooms as fast as he could.

Loki took his time preparing accordingly for yet another dull Council meeting. He could never really see the point in having a Council at all. Most of the members were far past their prime both in mind and body. Their opinions were outdated and their presence served only to delay and hinder. King Odin considered himself a fair and just King. He insisted in hearing his Council's opinions and suggestions, however moronic they may be. The result was meetings that lasted hours and accomplished little. It was quite frankly a waste of time, particularly since Loki was the one who usually ended up resolving the problem. And if _he_ was the one that provided the solution and if _he_ was the one whose intellect surpassed that of all the Councilmen's' put together, then why should he have to consult with them and consider their pathetic and simpleminded opinions?

Had Loki been King, nothing but absolute power would do. But alas, he was not and from what he suspected from his Father's blatant favoritism towards Tho, nor would he ever be. It was both frustrating and infuriating to dwell upon, especially since he knew that he would make a far better King than his foolish and brash older brother.

When he did finally enter the Council Chambers, he was more than slightly alarmed to see that today's session looked to be a War Council of sorts. In attendance were not only the seven Councilmen and the King, but also Asgard's three Generals, who only presented themselves at Council during times of War. Loki also saw his brother and deduced that if Thor deigned to grace them with his presence then indeed something serious must have happened.

After some moments of tense conversation, the King finally called the session in order, before turning to address all those present.

"The last time a session such as this was called many of you in this room were but infants. For close to a thousand years, War has been absent from our Realm. As of tonight, a thousand years of peace have come to their end." At this the King paused, looking at each and everyone of his Council members, as if to emphasize the importance of his next words.

"As of this night, Asgard is at War."

* * *

She was tired. No, she was exhausted. Exhausted to the point where she would give almost anything for a few moments of peaceful rest. But she couldn't. If there was one thing she was certain of amidst the vast mass of confusion her mind had become, it was that she couldn't sleep. No matter how tired she was, no matter how near the brink of collapsing she was. She had to stay awake.

Her dreams were haunted, haunted by the specter of the one she had murdered. He was always there, waiting for her to close her eyes so he could appear. He never said anything, he never even made a move. He just stood there motionless and silent, wearing the bloodied clothes he had worn _that_ night. He never said anything but he always looked at her, always with the same expression of sadness etched permanently onto his deathly face.

Loki had told her to forget that night. It had never happened.

After he had dispensed with what was once Lord Ullr of Vanaheimr, he had come back for her. She was still in her marble bathing pool, the water long grown cold. She heard his quiet distinct footsteps and raised her head slightly to see him standing at the doorway. No words had been spoken as he disrobed and then gracefully slid in the bathing pool behind her. He had wrapped his arms around her and held her to him, her back against his chest. He had trailed soft kisses from her cheek down to her shoulders, his lips hot on her skin and chasing away the coldness of the water that surrounded them. He was with her and all was good again. Or at least all was good for a while.

She had learnt soon enough that while Loki was with her, while he touched her and kissed her and held her, she could forget. At his touch all thoughts of what had happened, all thoughts of what she had done, could be pushed aside. But then he would leave and she would be left alone. She would be left alone with her thoughts and everything that had happened that accursed night would come crashing back and drown her in guilt.

Loki had tried to reason with her that first night when he held her against him in the cold water. He had told her that it wasn't her fault, that there was nothing to be gained by dwelling in the past. He had told her that she had to forget.

She had closed her eyes then and willed herself to find the words to explain to him. Loki had grasped her face in his hand, gently turning her to face him. He had kissed her, a deep and passionate kiss that left her breathing hard and her heartbeat racing. He broke the kiss briefly but remained close enough so that his next words he spoke against her lips.

"Guilt is a useless emotion. It would serve you well to smother it forever." And then he had resumed kissing her, becoming more demanding than she had ever remembered him to be. His hands grasped her waist and then her thighs, turning her whole body towards him. His mouth burned a trail to her breasts, suckling and biting and licking, while his hands guided her hips, so as to harshly impale her onto himself. His rhythm was wild, almost crazed and all she could do was hold onto him, her nails leaving deep welts into the fair skin of his shoulder-blades. Her head was thrown backwards, her lips wide, unable to contain her moans any longer.

And then it was over and she was convulsing around him and falling limply on his chest. He cradled her to him and held her for a long time. She had cried, silent tears running down her smooth cheeks. She had cried because try as she might she was not like him. This night and all that had transpired was still vivid to her. She doubted if she would ever be able to forget the look of surprise and hurt Lord Ullr had given her before he closed his eyes forever. The look that tore her apart, because the hurt in his eyes was not due to any physical pain she had caused him but due to her betrayal.

How could she tell Loki what she felt? How could she explain guilt and remorse to someone who feels none? And so after that night, she had retreated into herself. Loki was called Silver-tongue for a good reason but even his most artfully weaved words could not lift the burden of guilt she carried. Because Sigyn knew that she had had a choice. She could have knocked Lord Ullr out, gotten Loki to modify his memories. She could have called for Loki the moment she realized that they had been discovered.

Sigyn had a choice. And she chose to take a life.

What a hypocrite she was. Always preaching about the sanctity of life and then when it was in her hands to choose, she had chosen to kill. Who was she? She wasn't the same girl she had once been. That one night, that one deed had her questioning everything about herself. And how could she tell Loki? How could she confide her fears to him, when he was the one that had brought it all about? Did her morals and principles, the very things that made her who she was, not matter when it came to Loki?

How far would she go? She had already killed for him.

Day and night these thoughts tormented her and instead of doing the right thing, instead of seeking him out and talking to him, she had taken the easy way out. She was afraid, afraid of herself and of what she had become and so she had done the only thing she could, the only thing that could help her keep hold of her fragile sanity. She had shut herself off her emotions, she had hidden herself in the most distant corners of her rooms like the coward that she was. And she would have remained there, had it not been for Lady Irin and the news she carried.

Asgard was at war.


End file.
